When I sat down to look through my old school pictures, I couldn’t help but remember things from the past. It had been twenty years since…
As I sat there looking through my old school pictures, I couldn’t help but remember things that had happened long ago. It had been twenty years since I graduated, but looking at the pictures made it feel like it had just happened.
There I was, young Pomeline Hale, with that silly, wide-eyed smile and a sentimental phrase I used to think was very important under my yearbook photo:
“Two people are needed to make love real.”
I thought it was funny how dumb I had been back then, but the laugh went away quickly when I saw his picture. Dorian Reed. The person I liked in high school. He was the one who stole my heart for years.
I loved Dorian back then. I would write him little notes and try to flirt with him in a clumsy way. I would even sneak valentines into his bag when I thought no one would see.
I was sure he was the one for me and that we would be together.
I could picture our life so clearly, even the day we got married. I was 38 years old, still single, and still trying to figure out what had gone wrong.
Why did Dorian stop talking to me right before graduation? He had ghosted me without saying a word, and I was lost and heartbroken.
I hadn’t talked to him since then, but the pain was still there, just like it was then.
The sound of the doorbell brought me back to reality as my mind wandered into imaginary situations.
I put the photo album down and went to the door. There was Kerensa, my best friend, with her usual big smile on her face.
“Are you ready for the class get-together, girl?” she asked, and her buzz started right away.
I stopped and rested against the door frame.
“Kerensa, to be honest, I’m not sure I want to go.”
She raised an eyebrow, clearly not understanding.
“Why not?” What’s going on?
I took a big breath.
“I was looking at some old pictures, and they brought back a lot of memories. You know, the one that talks about Dorian.
Kerensa rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“Who is Dorian Reed?” You’re still stuck on that after 20 years?
“I know it sounds silly,” I said, and my cheeks got hot.
“But it still hurts.” We were so close, but then he just walked away like I didn’t matter.
Kerensa got closer and put a warm hand on my shoulder.
“Hey, he might not even show up tonight.” And if he does, don’t let it ruin your fun. Not to talk about old wounds, but to have fun and reconnect with old friends.
I made myself smile to get rid of the doubts.
“You’re right.” But if he’s there, I’ll make sure he sees what he lost.
A lot of the time, Kerensa smiled.
“That’s my girl.”
I was nervous the whole way to the reunion. I kept looking out the window and tapping my fingers on my knee. I was in the middle of a storm of emotions.
What if Dorian came? What if he didn’t? I didn’t know which one would hurt more.
My heart was heavy in my throat, and it got harder to breathe as we got closer.
I looked in the rearview mirror one last time to fix my hair and smooth out my dress as we got there.
I couldn’t shake off the nerves that were holding me back.
“Pomeline, you look great.” Kerensa said in a soft but firm voice, “Don’t worry about Dorian.” This night belongs to you.
“Okay, we’re going to have a lot of fun.”
I smiled weakly at her, but the knot in my stomach wouldn’t go away. I mumbled, “Thanks,” while still playing with my hem.
“But what if he doesn’t come? I feel dumb for being so angry about this. It’s been a long time, Kerensa.
Kerensa rolled her eyes and said, “You’re not dumb,” as if I had said something crazy.
“Truth is, if he comes, don’t waste your breath on him.” We make this about us, not him, and let him see what he missed.
I felt more stable for a moment when her spark lit mine. We got out and walked to the door, but my heart raced with every step.
When I saw the school, a flood of memories, both good and bad, came back to me. I couldn’t believe I was going back to that world.
At the reunion, it felt like going back in time. Friends from the past waved us over. Some of them I hadn’t seen in a long time, and some of them I barely knew at the time.
Friends told stories and talked about the good old days, and the room was full of laughter. I began to relax and even enjoy it until I saw him.
Dorian Reed.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw him from across the room. He looked different—older, yes, but he still had that rough charm that I remembered.
He had a nice beard, and when our eyes met, he smiled right away. A real, easy one that surprised me. All the anger and questions I had buried came rushing back.
Why did he ignore me back then? Why did you leave me with nothing?
Kerensa grabbed my arm and pulled me the other way, gently but firmly, before I could move or even clean up the mess inside.
“Stick to what I said,” she said in a steady voice. “Don’t say anything.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to do what she said, but part of me screamed to face him and get the answers I’d been waiting for for years.
Later that night, after we talked to more of our old classmates, Kerensa spilled her drink all over her skirt. She yelled, “Ugh!” as she looked at the wet spot.
“This was different!” “Hold on a second, Pomeline. “I have to clean up the mess.”
I saw her run to the bathroom, which was the first time that night that I was alone.
I looked around and felt a little lost without her. The party kept going with music and laughter, but I suddenly needed to breathe.
I didn’t think about it; I just went outside to the quiet bench in the schoolyard, which used to be my favorite place to hide.
I would sit there after school and write notes or daydream. It seemed like the right place to get my thoughts in order tonight.
I sat down, closed my eyes for a moment, and let the cool night air touch me.
I remembered a lot about high school, like how happy and free I had been. Then there are the ones that are Dorian. I shook my head and told them to let go, but they wouldn’t.
All of a sudden, I heard footsteps behind me. I blinked and turned to see Dorian coming up to me. His smile made his face look bright.
“Hey, Pomeline,” he said in a friendly but careful voice.
“Dorian,” I said, my heart racing. “It’s been a while.”
“It has,” he said, stopping a few feet from the bench. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk.” You haven’t talked to me all night.
I laughed nervously, but I couldn’t get my words out. “It wasn’t clear that you wanted to after senior year ended.”
Dorian looked confused. “How did it end?” I thought you were going to go after that note.
“Note?” I said it again, and my forehead furrowed. “I never got a note, Dorian.”
He sighed, and his face got serious.
“I wrote you a note asking you to come to the park with me.” I put it in your locker, and when you didn’t show up, I thought it was a no-go. I thought that was why you left.
I shook my head in disbelief.
“Dorian, I didn’t get a message. I thought you were finished. I didn’t know what I did wrong.
Dorian could hear more steps before he could answer. Kerensa came in with red cheeks and looked shaken.
“What’s this talk?” She asked, and her voice shook in a way I had never heard before.
I said “Kerensa” slowly, and things started to make sense. “Do you know about the note Dorian sent me?”
Her face turned white, and for a second, it looked like she was going to ignore it. But Dorian did something.
“Kerensa, you told me what she said. She said she did.
When I saw the shame in Kerensa’s eyes, my stomach dropped. “Is that real?” I asked, my voice shaking.
Kerensa looked down, her face burning with shame and regret. “I got jealous,” she said in a low voice.
“I liked Dorian, but I didn’t want you two to be together. I thought you would let go if the note stayed hidden.
I was shocked and angry, and my chest hurt.
“You tricked us both?” “Did jealousy ruin everything?”
“I’m sorry,” Kerensa said in a low voice, her eyes filling with tears. “I never thought it would last this long.” I just didn’t want to lose you, either.
“Get lost, Kerensa,” I said, my voice shaking from years of pain.
I was sad, angry, and relieved when Kerensa left.
Dorian came closer and wrapped his arms around me gently. I leaned in and felt the warmth I had been missing for so long.
I whispered, my voice shaking, “I thought you didn’t care all this time.”
Dorian sighed and spoke in a low voice. “Same thing for you.”
We stood there for a moment, quiet, holding on, and letting the old weight slowly slip away.
Dorian said, “We can’t change what happened, but we can decide what happens next.”
I smiled through my tears as I looked up at him. “You’re right.”
The rest of the night, we sat on that old bench and talked and laughed. We had already wasted a lot of time, but I was sure we wouldn’t do it again.
