Three latrines
Three men looked at the new toilet designs at the closest store since they wanted to purchase toilets.
The salesperson offers the first man a wooden toilet based on his request for a toilet that would fit well in his log cabin in the woods.
A toilet made of ice is offered to the second man when he requests one that would be suitable for an igloo.
When the third man requested the best toilet available for the staff restroom at the National History of Canada Museums, the salesperson offered him a singing toilet featuring the Canadian flag on the tank.
In any case, they all receive what they requested.
The following day, all three men return with their toilets.
It’s a terrible toilet, the first man remarks. Pieces of wood become lodged in my butt every time I try to use it.
This toilet is terrible, the second man remarks. It freezes my butt to the seat every time I try to use it, and I have to use a hair drier to get it off.
“It’s too patriotic,” the third man remarks. Every time I sit down to use the restroom, “O Canada” plays, and I have to get up to go.
In the middle of the Irish countryside, Tiger Woods stops at a gas station in his BMW while on a golf trip in Ireland.
The attendant extends a cordial Irish greeting to Tiger, not knowing who he is.
Greetings to you, sir, the attendant adds. Tiger gives a courteous nod and grabs the gasoline nozzle. He is doing this when two golf tees fall out of his pocket and hit the floor.
The attendant asks, “What are those?” as she peers down in confusion.
According to Tiger, “they’re tees.”
The Irishman, obviously bewildered, asks, “Well, what in God’s name are they for now?”
Tiger smiles as he says, “I use them to rest my balls on when I’m driving.”
Incredulous, the Irishman’s eyes enlarge. His words are, “Fookin’ Jaysus, BMW thinks of everything!”
