Dogs are famous for their loyalty, love and their skill at making us laugh as well. With their tricks and sudden intelligence, these jokes show the parts of pets that bring happiness to us.
From a keen shopping dog to a talking pet with some rough experiences, these seven jokes well represent the humorous side of dogs. Try not to laugh out loud at how silly dogs can really be!
- A Problem at Dinner
The girl was visiting her boyfriend’s parents for the very first time. She was struggling with an upset stomach at that point. Since her pressures were so strong, she found it necessary to release a bit of gas during dinner without people hearing her.
Her gentle fart was so loud it made a squeak that everyone at the table could notice. Their heads whipped around and the father looked at the woman, then the dog behind her chair and said, “Max.”
“What a joy this is,” she told herself. The group figured it was the dog and everyone continued eating.
A few minutes later, the pain was back and she had to reduce pressure again. The second blast of wind was twice as strong and twice as loud as her first. Once again, all the children turned their heads and the father shouted, “MAX!”, making her very happy. All the hosting family members began to eat again.
The pain from the gastro-fiend was still nagging, so the girl chose to fully heal herself by making a big trip to the bathroom.
Full of confidence, she bellowed out a demonic fart which lasted for nearly four full seconds. People stopped their meals and stared as if in confusion. He pushed his plate away, stood up from his chair, gazed at the dog and yelled, “Max!” I do this for the sake of God! Leave her alone before she puts you down!!
- The Smart Shopper
While sending a dog away from his shop, the butcher saw a 10 dollar bill and a note in its mouth: “Five lamb chops, please.”
Stunned, he received the money, gave the dog some chops, sealed the deal and closed up the store. Noticing this, he kept his eye on the dog which waited at the crosswalk, glanced each way and then walked over to the nearest bus stop.
The dog examined the timetable and then sat down on the bench. As soon as a bus got there, he went to the front, checked the number and got on the bus. The butcher fell silent and seemed shocked as he came into the room. On the journey to the suburbs, the dog noticed the passing views.
A dog accompanied by its owner in a bus.
Soon he got up on his back legs and pressed the “Stop” button, causing the butcher to leave the bus with him.
The dog ran to a house and dropped his bag there. Again, from down the path, he stood up, ran fast and rushed forward to punch the door. Whap! This situation happened over and over yet no answer was given. He scaled a wall, walked through the garden, smashed his head against the glass, leaped down and sat at the front entrance.
A big man opened the door and swore at the dog. The butcher arrived, shouting at the guy: “Are you out of your mind?” My dog is truly smart!
He quickly disagreed, saying “More like a dunce, maybe.” Forgetting his keys seems to have happened to him twice in just a week!
- The Visitor That Loves to Nap
A weary-looking older dog walked into a man’s yard. You could see from his full belly and neat collar that he was living in a good home and being cared for. The dog walked calmly over to where the man was and let him pat him on the head.
A person holding a phone reaches out to touch a dog.
After that, the dog entered the house with the man, walked along the hallway, curled up where it was comfortable and fell asleep.
About an hour after that, the man opened the door and allowed him to leave. The dog returned the next day. He saw the man outside, entered the house and went to the hall once more for an hour of sleep. It happened for a few weeks, sometimes continuing, sometimes not.
On a day he was curious, the man attached a note to the dog’s collar, “I want to meet the owner of this sweet dog and tell you that almost every day your dog takes a nap with me.
The following day, the dog came to take a snooze and this time there was a note tied to his collar that said, “He’s a friend to six children, with two under three; he needs to catch up on sleep.” Is it okay if I come along with him tomorrow?
- The Plasterer at the Pub
The dog sits down at the bar, orders a beer and a sandwich made with ham. The bartender turns to him and says, “Wait a minute! You are a dog.”
“I can tell your eyes are functioning well as you read this,” says the dog.
He exclaims: “And you can talk!”
“It looks like your ears are listening, too,” remarks the dog. “If it’s okay, can I have my beer and my sandwich?”
“Certainly, my apologies,” says the bartender while making your pet’s drink. There aren’t many dogs here in our pub. Why are you here?”
The dog says, “I work on the construction site located across the street.” I am a plasterer.
The bartender is clearly shocked by the dog and tries to ask questions, but stops when the dog pulls out a newspaper and reads from it. The dog glances at the newspaper, has a beer, grabs some sandwich, says goodbye to the bartender and walks out of the bar. The same process continues for two weeks.
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The circus arrives in town one day. The ringmaster steps into the pub for a drink and the bartender addresses him, “Hello, you’re one of the circus crew, aren’t you?” How about I suggest a dog who would be wonderful in your circus? He has conversations, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper and even more!
The ringmaster says, “It’s such a cool setup,” and then passes his business card over. “Tell him to get in touch with me by phone.”
The following day, when the dog comes to the pub, the bartender says, “Hello, Mr. Dog! I think I can introduce you to a job that pays very well.”
According to the dog, they are always on the lookout for the next job. “Can you tell me where it is?”
“I’ve just gotten back from visiting the circus,” says the bartender.
“The circus?” asks the dog again.
“You’re correct,” says the bartender.
“The circus?” The dog asks once more. Are you including the big tent?
“Yeah,” she says.
“With all these animals placed in cages and with the performers living inside their caravans?” asks the dog.
Of course, the bartender answers.
“There’s canvas on the sides and on top and a hole in the middle of the roof,” repeats the dog.
“You are absolutely correct,” says the bartender.
The dog shakes his head in surprise, saying, “Surely, there must be a better way to spend the money!”
- Corgi Comedy
Why aren’t there any funny jokes about Corgis?
Each one is very brief.
- Artwork on Sale: The Talking Dog
A man notices a sign on a front lawn that states “Talking dog for sale.” He rings the bell and the owner explains that the dog is in the yard. The man goes to the backyard and comes across a dog quietly sitting.
“Does he talk?” he asks.
“Yes,” the dog answers.
Can you tell me what’s happened with your family?
I started talking early on and I actually volunteered to help the CIA since I wanted to assist the government. before you know it, I was flying quickly from one country to another. I got to attend meetings with spies and leaders since people didn’t guess that a dog would be observing. For eight years, I was very valuable to them as a spy.
All the traveling made me feel exhausted and I knew I was getting older and hoped to settle down. Eventually, I found a job at the airport that involved undercover security, so I did most of my work by being near suspect passengers and listening in on them. Certain extraordinary events occurred during my time at the agency and I was given a group of medals. I had a spouse, more puppies than anyone wants and now I spend my days retired.”
He is simply blown away by what she told him. He walks back inside and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, “I want ten dollars.”
The guy tells me, “This dog is really something else. What’s the reason behind his low price?
The owner says, “He’s a total liar.” None of that behavior was a part of their life.
- A Dog with a Skateboard
A man was engaged in a conversation with his neighbor one day. He stated, “I’m ready to give up on having my dog.” He’s not afraid to race anyone skilled on a skateboard.”
“Oh, that sounds like a challenge,” said the neighbor with some worry. How are you thinking about tackling the issue?
The man said, “I’m afraid that taking away his skateboard is the only solution.”
If they get into trouble or just behave lovingly, dogs always manage to make us laugh and cheer us up. Our pets’ hilarious and loving nature often shows up in these funny situations.
