The meal that took place on the previous Sunday was supposed to be a straightforward and warm occasion. To properly introduce my parents to my fiancee, Mallory, I had extended an invitation to her. In spite of the fact that we had been dating for some time, it seemed like the proper time. She was, after all, the person I intended to spend the rest of my life with by my side.
When it comes to a partner, Mallory is all I could have ever hoped for. Despite the fact that she is not a size two, I would not change a single thing about her appearance. She is tall, broad-shouldered, and radiantly blonde. In addition to her physical strength, she possesses a strong emotional character. She has a brilliant mind, a kind heart, and a passionate loyalty to her friends and family. When Mallory enters a room, the spirit of the place immediately becomes more radiant. The vitality she exudes and the generous heart she possesses are what lure others to her. When I’m feeling stressed out, she’s the first person I’ve ever felt fully secure with. She’s the one who cooks for me, pays attention to the slightest details, and makes me feel like I’m appreciated and understood.
On the other hand, immediately upon our arrival at my parents’ house on that particular Sunday, I was able to sense the tension. My mother hardly smiled when she held Mallory, and my father refused to even look her in the eye while she was hugging him. The atmosphere was heavy with an unsettling stillness, as if it were a time bomb that was just waiting to release its explosive charge. Everyone seemed to be holding their breath throughout the entire supper, which exuded an air of tension.
My mother then leaned in close to me, her voice low, as if she had been waiting for the opportunity to have a private conversation with me. This occurred as soon as Mallory left the room to take a call. The tone of her voice was as solemn as I’ve ever heard it “Honey,” she asked, “Are you sure you want to marry someone that big? It’s a shame you’re too short. It’s not a good match since…”
A few minutes later, my father, who had not exchanged a single word with Mallory throughout the entire evening, offered his opinion. It was then that he began to discuss “health” and how I would “resent you later.”
It left me speechless. When I heard what I was hearing, I couldn’t believe it. Under my feet, I had the sensation that the ground was shifting. I was unable to comprehend it for a little period of time. As I tried to make sense of the situation, I did nothing except stare at them all. Unsolicited and nasty statements were made about the lady I love by my parents, who should have been my most ardent supporters. Here those comments were.
When I was in the most desperate need of unconditional love, I thought about Mallory’s generosity, her humor, and the way she had showed me love without conditions. During the times when life was difficult, she was the one who was there for me. She was the one who took notice of every little thing about me, including the way I liked my coffee, the snacks that I like the most, and the kind of activities that I enjoyed doing on the weekends. I reflected on the fact that she had my back at all times, her ability to make me feel like a special person, and the way that her presence made me feel like I was at home.
In spite of this, they were forming conclusions about her based on the way she looked. How could they possibly have missed what I had seen? It is inconceivable that they would reduce her to something as superficial as her physical appearance.
Nevertheless, I refrained from arguing at that time. I did not defend Mallory in any way. I refrained from raising my voice, despite the fact that every part of me wanted to do so. I just sat there, speechless, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened to me through the shock of it all. Despite the fact that I did not wish to provoke a conflict, I was cognizant of the fact that something needed to be altered.
I came to the realization that I had been carrying the weight of their remarks with me when Mallory asked me later that night why I seemed wrong. Moreover, I became aware that I was faced with a decision to make. With my family, I could continue to avoid the matter and play it safe, or I could finally speak up for Mallory and let them know how I honestly felt about the situation.
There was something that they were not aware of at the time. There is something that I have been holding back from sharing with them until now.
While I was lying awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, Mallory was soundly sleeping next to me despite my presence. The regularity of her breathing and the peaceful and placid expression on her face gave the impression that she had no concerns in the world. She always had the ability to fall asleep so quickly, which was something that I always admired about her. But as the night progressed, I became aware of a growing sense of shame toward myself. I had become uncomfortable as a result of the phrases that my parents had imprinted themselves into my mind. I was aware that I needed to have a conversation with them, regardless of how awkward those conversations would be. It was impossible for me to continue acting as though everything was fine when in reality it was not.
When I awoke the following morning, the room was filled with the distinct aroma of pancakes. When we were redecorating the living room together, Mallory was standing at the stove wearing her old gray sweatpants, which were stained with paint. These trousers held paint stains. It was her casual attitude that made me feel a little lighter, and she was flipping pancakes with a smile on her face. I was reminded of how fortunate I was to have her in my life merely by the fact that she prepared a meal for me, which she did with such ease.
I was aware that I couldn’t continue to ignore the fact that there was a problem in the room even as I stood there and watched her work. It had come to the point where I needed to have the conversation with my folks, the one that I had been avoiding for an excessively long time. There was more to it than just protecting Mallory; it was also about protecting the future that we had together, a future that was not going to be determined by outmoded assumptions or limited perspectives.
Even though it was excruciating, that Sunday supper had let me see things more clearly. I realized at this point that if I wanted to have a genuine relationship with Mallory, I had to be willing to defend her, even if it was difficult to do so during difficult times. The fact of the matter was that my family did not have to comprehend her viewpoint. Their approval of her was not required in any way. I did, however. In addition, I was not going to allow their opinion to interfere with what I believed to be reality and what was appropriate for me.
Mallory was deserving of nothing less than the treatment that she had received from my parents. In addition, I was at last prepared to make it clear to her that I would always pick her, regardless of what other people decided.
