As two blondes eat lunch together, one murmurs,
“A boob job is coming to me.”
The other blonde responds,
“That is insignificant; I’m having my arsehole bleached! “
The first blonde exclaims,
“Wow! I had no idea your guy was receiving highlights as well! “
Did you enjoy this? Just for you, here are 40 more jokes with blondes:
First Joke
When a blonde enters a coffee establishment, she asks the barista whether they have any decaf. The barista responds, “Yes, we do.” The blonde then enquires, “Would you mind adding a little extra decaf? Perplexed, the barista clarifies, “Extra decaf? This place only has one type of decaf! With a smile, the blonde remarks, “That’s ideal—I need something extra to keep me up while I work this out! “
Second Joke
An attractive sports automobile is being examined by a blonde at a car dealership. With great anticipation, the salesman offers, “Want to try this beauty out? “Oh, I would love to test drive it,” the blonde responds, “but I have a request: could you please send a tow truck to save me if I drive it off the lot by accident? “We’ll take good care of you if that happens,” the salesperson says, seeming puzzled. The blonde smiles and adds, “Great—safety first, even if I can’t figure out how to start it! “
Third Joke
“Do you think this TV has a remote control?” one of the two blondes wonders as they are looking for a television. The other frowns and responds, “I don’t know, but we can always use our cell phones if it doesn’t.” They buy it and bring it home, then look at the package in shock. One shouts, “We have to shout commands—it says ‘voice control!'” “Next time, let’s just get a regular TV that lets us press buttons!” the other person says, shaking her head. “
Fourth Joke
A blonde made the decision to make a cake from scratch in an attempt to impress her pals. When the recipe instructed her to “preheat the oven,” she went and began reading the food labels on the boxes, but otherwise, she followed everything exactly. Upon her guests’ arrival, the kitchen appeared to be a canning library. “Where is the cake?” a friend enquired. I was occupied trying to determine which box stated “preheated,” the blonde retorted. The cake will probably have to wait until we find out how to use the oven. “
Five Jokes
A blonde stood in a scientific museum, gazing at an interactive electrical exhibit. The blonde cut the guide off, saying, “This exhibits shows how electrons flow to create a current.” “So electrons have their own highway? “In a way, yes,” the bewildered but amused guide said. The blonde smiled widely and continued, “Wonderful—I had no idea I needed to understand how electrons work until I started driving my car! “
Joke No. 6.
“I think something is wrong with my keyboard,” a blonde who called customer service for her new computer stated. “What seems to be the issue?” the support expert questioned. “Every time I type, the letters come out in a strange order,” the blonde retorted. “Ohlel” appeared when I typed “hello”! “Perhaps you tapped the keyboard too rapidly,” the expert said. The blonde chuckled and continued, “That must be it—I was trying to send my greetings so quickly because I love my computer! “
The seventh joke
A blonde was looking over the menu at a classy restaurant when the server asked, “Do you want still or sparkling water? “I think I’d like sparkling—does it come with bubbles of excitement?” the blonde asked, looking perplexed. The waiter laughed and said, “Yes, our sparkling water is the most exciting of all our offerings.” The blonde then said, “That’s great, I’ll have a glass of that then.” As I often say, life is too short to have dull experiences! “
Joke No. 8.
To get a parrot, a blonde went to a pet shop. “This parrot speaks three languages, which makes it very special,” the store owner remarked. Astonished, the blonde exclaimed, “Wow, what are they? “English, Spanish, and French,” the owner answered with a smile. After some thought, the blonde said, “I want the parrot, but only if it can speak in voice messages like my phone.” To order pizza, I don’t need to speak French! “
Jokes 9
A blonde asked the counter of a bookshop whether they had a book on problem solving. “Yes, it’s in our self-help section,” the clerk acknowledged. “But I don’t understand—shouldn’t it be in the mystery section if it’s about solving puzzles?” the blonde asked, pausing. With a laugh, the clerk said, “Well, that’s the riddle! With a smile on her face, the blonde responded, “I’ll take one—perhaps it will finally help me discover where all these books are hiding! “
Ten Jokes
A blonde came onto a tiny, transparent pond while trekking. “I’m going to jump in and cool off!” she exclaimed, excited. A few moments later, someone shouted, “Wait, do you realise how deep it is? Not really, but I can see the bottom from here, the blonde shrugged. Following a vigorous splash, she came out gasping, saying, “I told you—I can see it all the way through! Like a glimpse into an other universe! “
Joke No. 11.
The examiner asked a blonde taking a driving test, “What do you do when you see a yield sign? “Of course, I yield to my passengers,” the blonde replied with assurance. The examiner appeared confused, but the blonde went on, “Safety first! That way, everyone feels comfortable and included! In spite of the confusion, the examiner laughed and remarked, “Well, you definitely know the word ‘yield’ in every situation! “On the road and in life, I always try to make sure everyone gets a turn,” the blonde stated with a smile. “
Joke No. 12.
A blonde asked the clerk at a fast-food restaurant if they had sandwiches built with love. I mean, do you have any heart-shaped burgers?” The blonde shrugged. “Well, we create them with premium ingredients,” the cashier said. “Not exactly, but our burgers are made to be as delicious as possible,” the cashier answered with a laugh. “Great—I’ll take one then and give it a big hug because I believe every burger deserves a little love!” The blonde smiled. “
13th Joke
At an art gallery, a blonde spent a considerable amount of time gazing at a contemporary picture. “What do you see in the painting?” a customer questioned. “I see a picture of my friend’s hair,” the blonde stated. The visitor chuckled and asked, “Really? The blonde grinned and clarified, “Yes—it reminds me that life is mysterious and artistic, even if it’s as simple as a friend’s blond hair blowing in the wind.”
Joke 14.
In a yoga lesson, a blonde was instructed to relax by closing her eyes. “Do you think I’d unintentionally become too relaxed if I opened my eyes?” she murmured to the instructor. The instructor laughed and added, “Just trust the process.” After giving it some thought, the blonde responded, “I guess I’m just scared that I’ll be too zen to get my slippers back after class! Everyone chuckled, and the teacher went on, “Well, perhaps it is the real way to enlightenment! “
15 Jokes
A blonde at a party was looking at a bowl of mixed nuts. “Are you going to eat those?” one of the guests enquired. The blonde retorted, “No, I’m trying to decide if these are really fine peanuts or walnuts. The blonde cheered, “That’s right! They’re a mix of everything,” the guest stated with a smile. Because I never know if I’m having a crazy time or a fun crunch adventure, I prefer surprises! “
Joke No. 16.
A blonde called a friend and said, “I need help unlocking my new smartphone.” The buddy answered, “Have you tried entering your passcode? “Yes,” the blonde said, “but I typed the numbers in the incorrect sequence! Perhaps you could write it down, her companion said, laughing. The blonde moaned, “I did that too, but then I used it as a bookmark in my favourite novel! “
Joke No. 17.
While perusing a store at a mall, a blonde discovered a button that read, “Press for Discount.” She was so excited that she hit it several times before calling a store attendant to ask why her discount wasn’t appearing. “That button is just for fun—it doesn’t actually work,” the cashier explained. The blonde thought for a long moment before responding, “Oh, so discounts aren’t magical then? Well, I guess I’ll just have to practise my buying abilities more! “
18 Jokes
During a picnic, a blonde attempted to lay out her checkered blanket. She stumbled for a few moments before saying, “I’m not sure if I should roll it up like a scroll or fold it like a letter. “Perhaps you should ask the blanket for directions!” joked a neighbouring picnicker. The blonde chuckled and remarked, “Nice idea—I’m obviously engrossed in the picnic geometrical art! “
Joke Number Nineteen
A blonde was asked, “What year did the Titanic sink?” during a quiz game. Following a protracted silence, she boldly responded, “I believe that was in 1910—correct? It was actually 1912, the host informed her. The blonde shrugged and remarked, “Well, I guess occasionally even the iceberg in my memory misses its mark! The audience laughed at her direct answer, applauding the amusing unpredictable nature of knowledge.
Jokes 20
The newest virtual reality headset at a tech store captivated a blonde. “So, if I wear this, will I be able to visit outer space?” the blonde enquired as the salesperson described how to use it. The salesman nodded, “In a way, yes.” The blonde’s eyes brightened, “Wonderful! Even if it’s just a virtual one, I’ve always wanted a trip amid the stars! Just make sure to remove it before attempting to order interstellar pizza, the salesperson continued. “
Joke Number 21
A blonde tapped her foot nervously while waiting in a dentist’s office. When the dentist emerged, he stated, “I have both good and bad news.” What would you prefer first? The blonde grinned and asked, “Tell me the good news.” The dentist said, “Your smile is stunning! The blonde asked, “What’s the bad news?” in surprise. The dentist retorted, “The drill is going to start! The blonde chuckled despite her nervousness and remarked, “I suppose this dazzling grin cannot be dulled by a drill! “
Joke number 22
“Do you have any books on self-improvement?” a blonde asked a librarian at a public library. Indeed, we have a number of those, the librarian remarked with a nod. What sort of self-improvement do you want to pursue? The blonde thought, “Well, I’d like to learn how to read maps better.” The aisles are where I always get lost! That’s a special request!” The librarian laughed and said, “I’ll show you some travel guides instead! The blonde smiled, “That’s great—I’ll eventually find my way out without needing directions! “
Jokes 23
The chef at a culinary lesson asked a blonde, “What’s the key to a great soufflé? The blonde paused before responding, “I suppose you need some major fluff! The blonde said, “I’ve been practicing all week—I even tried to teach my hair to rise like a soufflé this morning!” The chef grinned and remarked, “That’s one way to put it.” The crowd erupted in laughter as everyone recognised her innovative take on the tried-and-true formula for success.
24th Joke
In an attempt to mend her damaged toaster, a blonde called a buddy for guidance. “My toaster isn’t functioning! “Screamed,” she said. Have you made sure it’s plugged in?” her companion enquired. “Oh no—I unplugged it to get rid of the crumbs and forgot to plug it back in,” the blonde retorted. “So, basically, it’s on a permanent vacation?” her companion laughed. It must be taking a long rest, the blonde chuckled, adding that perhaps it will return better and toast even more evenly the next time. “
Jokes 25
A blonde stood in queue for a roller coaster at an amusement park with much anticipation. “I hope it goes as fast as my thoughts!” she yelled as the journey began. “I’m not sure if the coaster is speeding or if my brain is on vacation,” she said, laughing as she glanced around the ride. Her friends laughed too, and one of them said, “In any case, it’s quite an adventure! That’s simply how I roll—quick, entertaining, and always a touch unpredictable!” The blonde smiled and continued. “
26th Joke
To make an impression on her pals, a blonde enrolled in a language class. The instructor asked, “Can you introduce yourself in French?” on the first day. After clearing her throat, the blonde continued, “Bonjour—my name is… uh… ‘Blondey McBright’? As the class burst out laughing, the teacher graciously fixed her pronunciation. The blonde flushed and remarked, “I guess I forgot that having a dazzling name isn’t enough to learn a language! “Tomorrow, I’ll be able to order a croissant without fumbling my words!” she said humorously. “
Joke Number 27
In a charades game, a blonde’s team had to predict a well-known film. The blonde began to imitate a scene by acting as though she was sinking into a chair. They yelled, “Is it the Titanic? “I don’t know,” she shrugged, “I simply wanted to test if I could sink like a ship! There were laughter throughout the room, and one teammate said, “Well, even though it wasn’t the correct movie, you sure made a splash! “I guess sometimes my performance goes down with the ship!” the blonde chuckled. “
Joke #28
A salesperson at a hip store asked a blonde who was looking for new shoes, “Would you want to try these on? “I’m not sure if these shoes are gorgeous or if I’m just experiencing glittery shoe envy,” the blonde retorted. Amused, the associate remarked, “This season, they’re definitely a hit! One glittering step at a time, the blonde retorted, “I suppose I might just spark a revolution if my shoe game gets any better! “
Joke #29
During a karaoke night, a blonde declared, “I’m going to perform my favourite song! She paused while belting out the lines, saying, “I hope the microphone doesn’t think I’m too loud! The crowd chuckled and encouraged her. A friend said after the show, “You truly have a knack for making every note pop! “Well, I think if you’re going to sing, you might as well sparkle—just like my hair!” the blonde smiled and answered. “
30 Jokes
A blonde enquired, “Do you have any pets that can do magic tricks?” while she was at an animal shelter. The blonde said, “Great—I’ve always wanted a pet that can say ‘Abracadabra’ on command!” The shelter worker grinned and added, “We do have a clever parrot.” The parrot squawked, “Polly wants a cracker!” as the volunteer protested. Every magic show requires a bit more charm and a dash of feathered fun, the blonde remarked with a giggle. “
Joke Number 31
A blonde showed off her presentation, a handcrafted volcano model, with pride at a science festival. Asked what made her volcano unique, she replied, “I call it ‘The Eruption of Genius’ because my creativity erupts every time it happens! One of the guests enquired, “Did it work? It did, the blonde said with a smile, just before I unintentionally combined too much vinegar and baking soda and created a small flood in my kitchen! After a round of laughter, she continued, “Well, sometimes being brilliant is just about creating a big impression! “
32nd Joke
The treadmill was shown to a blonde who had joined a gym. Looking at the speed settings, the blonde questioned, “What happens if I press the ‘I’m too fabulous’ button?” The trainer responded, “This machine will help you get in shape.” The blonde retorted, “That’s okay—I’m already stretching my limits every time I decide to race towards a bargain! I promise this treadmill will push you to your limitations,” to which the trainer laughed and added, “We don’t have one of them! “
Joke Number 33
The fundamentals of exposure were explained to a blonde at a photography session. “Exposure makes or breaks a shot,” the instructor replied, and the blonde asked, “Does that imply my selfies are doomed if I don’t get enough exposure? The teacher responded to the class’s laughter by saying, “Not exactly—just a bit more light and a lot less flash! The blonde grinned and remarked, “I suppose I’ll just need to practise being more naturally fantastic with my camera! “
Joke number 34
There was a blonde who made the decision to take up gardening. She eagerly awaited the growth of the seeds she had planted. One week later, she went back to the yard and said, “I don’t know what I did wrong—the plants still haven’t called me their mum.” The neighbours laughed, and one of them suggested that she could talk to them like a teacher. “Well, if I can’t be their mom, I guess I’ll have to be their favourite substitute teacher,” the blonde said with a giggle. “
Joke number 35
A blonde walked towards a stand displaying DJ gear at a music festival. She questioned, “What does this button do? The blonde pressed it and said, “Wow—I didn’t know I could drop a beat just by pressing a button!” But the DJ said, “That one drops the beat!” “Maybe you should become a DJ!” the DJ smiled. The blonde chuckled and said, “I’d have to learn first, but I’m sure my added sparkle would make every celebration shine! “
Joke number 36
After attempting to bake cookies, a blonde ended up with a tray full of dough that was formed strangely. She said, “I guess mine are more like abstract art! I thought these were supposed to be heart-shaped cookies,” when questioned about the outcome. Her pal said, “They’re different! Indeed, every cookie is a unique work of art intended to both confound and delight, the blonde retorted. When there is edible art available, why needs precisely round cookies? “
Joke #37
A blonde was given the responsibility of preparing the projector for a presentation at an office party. “Do I need to plug it in upside down?” she enquired when it didn’t work. Laughing, a colleague retorted, “No, just make sure the cable is connected! As she added, “I guess I’ll have to stick with my tried and true methods until I decode these mysterious cables!” everyone laughed. The blonde moaned, “I really thought technology needed a fresh perspective sometimes.” “
Joke number 38
For fitness, a blonde chose to start jogging. Her first run ended in a park, when she began chatting to herself. One runner said, “Are you conversing with the birds? The blonde retorted, “No, I’m simply generating ideas aloud—I’m attempting to determine whether I left the stove on at home! That’s one method to keep your mind engaged while working out, the runner said with a laugh. “If my thoughts can run as fast as my feet, I might just set a new record,” the blonde added with a smile. “
Joke #39
A blonde wanted to make a cruise reservation at a travel agency. “Do you want a room with a window or one with a balcony?” the agent said. After a minute of reflection, the blonde remarked, “I’m not sure—I always get confused between a window and a door.” As long as I can see my destination, I’m content! “A window gives you a view, but a balcony gives you fresh air,” the agent said with a smile. “Then I guess I’ll take the balcony—fresh air might help clear my mind and remind me how to use a door!” the blonde said. “
Jokes 40
A blonde was trying to find a tool kit at the hardware store. What specifically are you looking for, the clerk enquired? “Yes, I need a set that will help me solve the mysteries of household repairs,” the blonde said. The clerk handed her a basic kit and said, “This has everything you need to fix small problems.” The blonde grinned widely and said, “Fantastic—I’m going to use these tools to solve the enigma of why my sink drips like it’s telling me a secret!” “
Last Words and Thoughts
These 40 blonde jokes are meant to make you grin with their humorous exaggeration and light-hearted humour, which range from culinary accidents and tech malfunctions to inventive solutions to common problems. Each joke is a light-hearted celebration of the comical aspects of human vices. They are designed to be a humorous diversion, not to insult, even if they are based on popular blonde stereotypes.
We’ve seen blondes in our collection above handle a variety of challenging situations with a positive, if occasionally comically confused, attitude, from fixing a computer to perfecting the art of baking. We are reminded by the light-hearted tone of these jokes that humour frequently arises from the unexpected turns of daily life. With every joke, we honour the various ways that difficulties can be turned into chances for amusement and camaraderie.
We hope you liked this long collection of forty jokes that are longer than the typical word count. I hope these stories brighten your day with a little light-hearted fun and demonstrate that even the most confusing circumstances can make you chuckle!
