Lily Allen has never been shy about saying what she thinks, and her latest comment may be one of the most controversial she’s ever made—not because of what she said, but because of how openly she said it.
On a recent episode of her podcast Miss Me?, which she co-hosts with her close friend and broadcaster Miquita Oliver, the 40-year-old singer said something that many famous people would never say out loud. When talking about abortion, Allen commented, “I’ve had a few abortions.” But I can’t recall how many it was… I would guess four or five.
The comment was quite honest, informal, and almost shocking. Oliver instantly said, “I have about five myself.” There was no awkward moment or dramatic pause. Just a moment of honest, unscripted honesty between two women who have been friends for many years. And just like that, they started talking about something that most people, especially renowned people, strive to avoid or clean up.
There was a swift response online, and as expected, it was fairly split. People complimented Allen for being honest about something that is still incredibly taboo, even in countries where abortion is legal. People who support reproductive rights and fans liked how honest she was. They said it was a bold way to say no to the stigma that sometimes comes with abortion. On the other hand, other people were quick to attack her, arguing she was ignoring a big problem. They believed her tone was too casual and rude, as if she thought abortion was a little concern.
But Allen, who was known for being quick-witted and not fitting in, knew how her words could be perceived. She really did look like she was ready for the answer. At one point in the play, she remembered an abortion she had had in the past and pondered about the man who had paid for it. At the time, she felt it was a sweet thing to do. She has a very different view on it today. She remarked, “I don’t think it’s sweet or kind.” “He didn’t even reply to me after.”
It’s a little but harsh critique of not just one man’s lack of concern, but also of how women are always forced to deal with the emotional, physical, and social effects of their reproductive choices on their own. The narrative makes a crucial point in Allen’s comments: being independent. You have the right to make a choice and to own it, talk about it, and deal with it in your own way without feeling guilty, unhappy, or regretful.
It’s clear that this is the case when she talks about how people talk about abortion in public, even those who agree with it. “I don’t like it at all,” she says. “I’ve seen memes from accounts that support abortion that say things like, ‘My aunt had a disabled child,’ or ‘She would have died if she had gone full term.'” Shut up! Just say, “I don’t want a baby right now.” That’s a good enough reason.
This comment is incredibly powerful; it’s honest, direct, and will make you think. But at its core, it reflects a greater annoyance with the idea that women have to explain their abortions in terms of horrible or serious situations. The main point is that your choice is not valid unless you are about to die or are in serious medical trouble. Allen thinks that real decision doesn’t have to be founded on trauma. You should want to be in charge of your own life and body.
Some observers stated that her tone was part of the problem because it was too lighthearted, breezy, and even giggly at times. A lot of people were upset and even outraged by how casually it was said. Some individuals, on the other hand, thought that tone was an important change from the sorrowful picture of the woman who was full of regret and quietly lamenting a decision that was necessary but hard.
Alison Wilson, a researcher who wrote about the podcast in Metro, made it clear: “Think about how much better this would be if Allen had talked about how bad she feels and how sorry she is.” This has to do with accepting things on certain conditions. Most people in society are only okay with abortion stories if they also convey shame. People feel bad when women don’t do it, not because they’re wrong, but because they break a rule we’ve always followed.
Allen’s report doesn’t have a strong story arc. It doesn’t look like she’s trying to make up for what she did or get forgiveness. She doesn’t want to be a role model or speak up for a cause. She is merely telling the truth about how she lived. She has the right to talk about her reproductive history, her feelings, and her memories, but not to make people feel bad or angry.
It’s also vital to remember that Allen’s decision to be so honest is quite important in the bigger picture of her public life. She has two children. She has had to deal with miscarriages, public breakdowns, and attention from tabloids. She now lives a quiet life, away from the public spotlight most of the time. She goes against both celebrity culture and traditional femininity by being prepared to speak her mind, even if it could get her into trouble.
No, she is not “pushing abortion.” She doesn’t make it sound good. She’s not making a political statement or telling people to follow her lead. In a society where women are still told to keep silent about the choices that effect their life, she’s taking charge of her own story.
It’s not that Lily Allen’s opinions are awful; it’s just that they don’t follow the rules for how women should talk about reproductive rights. There are no cautions on these. They don’t need to ask for permission. And it’s the kind of honesty that a lot of people think reproductive freedom should allow. Not only do you have the freedom to choose, but you also have the right to talk about your choice clearly, without feeling bad or humiliated or having to change the truth to make it easier for others to accept.
