A State Police officer is sitting in his vehicle on the side of the highway with a radar gun in his hand, ready to catch the next automobile that goes too fast. He doesn’t see a flurry of tires and tail lights, though. He sees a car moving barely 22 miles per hour. He raises an eyebrow and thinks, “That’s just as dangerous as someone going 90.” He switches on his lights and pulls over the automobile that is traveling slowly because he wants to have a closer look.
He walks closer to the car and finds that there are five old women inside. There are two people in the front seats and three people in the back. All of them are sitting still as boards with their eyes wide open and their faces pale as ghosts. The motorist, who is clearly irritated but attempting to stay calm, looks up at the officer and says, “Officer, I don’t understand.” I was going the speed limit! What do you think is wrong?
The officer tries to sound professional and replies, “Ma’am, you weren’t speeding, but driving well below the speed limit can also be very dangerous for everyone on the road.”
She asks, “Slower than the speed limit?” because she is confused. No, sir, I was going precisely what the sign said: 22 miles per hour!
The cop takes a minute to figure out what happened, and then he gets it. He laughs and replies, “Ma’am, that wasn’t the speed limit; that was the route number.” You are on Route 22.
When she chuckles, her cheeks flush red from embarrassment. “Oh my,” she says, “I guess that makes more sense.” She tells the officer that she would drive better from now on and thanks him for telling her about the mistake.
The police checks the automobile one last time before letting them go and says, “One more thing, ma’am.” Is everyone in here okay? It seems like your passengers have seen a ghost.
The driver, still smiling, says, “Oh, don’t worry about them, officer.” We just got off of Route 119.
Then the officer shakes his head, waves them off, and laughs as he walks back to his cruiser. The best stories frequently emerge from the most surprising places.
There is one more funny story that you didn’t see coming.
Johnny goes to a store to look for work. He walks up to the owner and asks, “Do you need help?” I need a job.
The owner looks him up and down and asks, “Do you think you’re a good salesman?”
Johnny shrugs. “Yes, I think so. I think I could be.
The owner nods and says, “Okay.” Take a look at me. “The job is yours if you think you can do what I do.”
A few minutes later, a man walks in and asks to buy a bag of grass seed. The owner walks over, grabs the seed, and says, “Sure thing.” But if you’re planting grass, you’ll probably need a lawnmower soon. You want one of those?
The customer thinks for a bit and then nods. “Yes, actually. That’s a good idea.
Bang! The seed and mower are no longer there. The customer is happy when they leave.
“Look at that,” the owner says to Johnny. He came in for one thing, but I sold him something else that he didn’t know he needed. Do you believe you can do it?
Johnny grins. “Of course.”
A second customer walks in a little while later. The owner steps back and lets Johnny take charge.\\
Johnny walks over and says, “Can I help you today?”
The customer says, “Yes, I want to buy my wife a box of Tampax.”
Johnny grabs a box right away and then adds, “Do you want a lawnmower with that?”
It looks like the customer doesn’t get it. “A mower?”
Johnny shrugs and says, “You might as well mow the lawn since you won’t be doing much else for the next seven days!”
Classic.
I hope that made you laugh today. Have a fantastic day!
