The newlyweds strolled inside the room that would be their home for the rest of their lives. The door of their honeymoon suite clicked shut behind them. There were too many toasts, awkward family members, and customs that made the day last too long. But now they were finally alone. The soft light from the bedroom lamps made the room feel warm and cozy. There was a mix of tense excitement and peaceful happiness in the air.
The husband walked up to the bed and pulled off his coat. He was a huge, robust man who walked with confidence and had a smile that was both charming and patronizing. His bride, who had piercing eyes and was graceful, started to take the pins out of her hair, letting magnificent curls fall around her shoulders. There was a calmness between them that made you feel both joyful and intrigued. Then, as if he needed to express something that wasn’t uttered, the man grabbed his pants and hurled them at her in a funny way.
“Here,” he said with a crooked smile. “Put these on.”
She was shocked and instantly grabbed the wide waistline with both hands. She asked, “What?” in a tone that sounded more funny than confused.
“Put them on,” he said again, nodding once if he had just made a very important point.
She stepped into the legs of his jeans because she had to; she was more interested in what was going on than anything else. The fabric was excessively long and bunched up around her feet. The waistline was also too big for her physique. She held them up by the sides and giggled a little.
“I can’t wear your pants,” she said with a grin as she floated in the enormous pants.
“Exactly,” he answered with a lot of confidence in his voice. “And don’t you ever forget it.” I am in charge of our relationship.
He thought the conversation was over when he crossed his arms. He thought that was a bad way to say anything. This was a safe way to set the mood, outline the rules, and make it apparent who would be in charge. It might have been a jest, but it had a hint of power, like how men in his family had always “joked” about getting married.
But his wife, who was strong and smart, didn’t let it get to her.
She smiled calmly, crouched down, took off her underwear, and threw it to him across the room. They fell softly and clearly on the bed in front of him.
“Okay,” she said in a quiet voice. “Now put these on,”
He blinked in surprise. He said, “What?”
“You heard me,” she said, her voice still happy but now more serious. “Put them on.”
When he picked them up, his smile faded a little. He held the little waistline up with his big fingers and tried to visualize how it would fit. The try was dumb. They wouldn’t even touch his legs. He stared at her again because he could feel the change in the air.
“I can’t get into your pants,” he said.
She grinned and moved closer. “That’s right.” And you won’t… not unless you change how you think.
There was no sound in the air for a moment. It wasn’t cold or unfriendly; it was full of understanding. She had stated her point with style and comedy, and the tables had turned. It wasn’t about being in command. It wasn’t about figuring out who was in charge. It was all about being polite. It was about being normal and fair. It was about knowing that in a marriage, one person shouldn’t be the main focus while the other person aids them. There were two people.
The hush was broken by real and uninhibited laughter. He relaxed and stopped being so anxious. He walked over to her, hugged her, and kissed her on the head.
The next night, the pants and underwear stayed on the floor. But more importantly, any thoughts about who would be in charge and who would follow were also erroneous. The couple learned something very important from that one terrific talk: a strong marriage is not based on control, but on balance. It’s not about making the rules; it’s about making them together.
They would always remember what they learned together first.
