An experienced sexual therapist from California named Vanessa Marin, who has more than twenty years of expertise in the field, has taken to social media in order to provide couples who are trying to improve their closeness with significant other advise. She brought attention to four essential habits that should be avoided in the bedroom by utilizing her platform, which is @vanessandxander. She emphasized the significance of being kind, communicating, and having empathy.
With reference to her personal relationship with her husband, Xander, Vanessa provided the following explanation: “For Xander and me, it has taken years to figure out what a relationship that is supportive, compassionate, and accountable looks like.” It is important to keep in mind that you are a team, and that you have the ability to collaborate in order to establish a connection that is even more empathetic and helpful.
The following are the four most important things that may be learned from Vanessa’s advice:
- Do not anticipate that one partner will always be the one to initiate sexual activity.
In her opinion, the responsibility of initiating intimacy should never be placed completely on one individual. She makes it a point to ensure that her spouse is not always expected to take the lead in their relationship simply due to the fact that he is “the man.”
According to studies, men love it when their partner is the one to start sexual activity, but many women wish they could take the initiative more frequently. They are frequently hampered, however, by variables that are societal, cultural, and biological in nature. By breaking this cycle, you can potentially create a more positive dynamic.
- Do not exert any pressure on your partner.
Ifyour partner is not in the mood for intimacy, Vanessa recommends that you refrain from putting pressure on them. A person’s libidos are subject to normal fluctuations, and it is detrimental to both the relationship and the individual’s well-being to make someone feel guilty for not wanting to have sexual interactions.
The cultivation of a connection that is more caring and helpful can be accomplished by respecting boundaries and providing room for natural desires to resurface.
- Be open and honest about your desired outcomes.
You should never let the fear of hurting a partner’s feelings prevent you from having open conversation about your sexual preferences. Having a patient and respectful conversation about limits and expectations is something that Vanessa urges couples to do.
She gives the advice, “Go slow.” “You shouldn’t anticipate a change that is revolutionary overnight.” This assertion is supported by research that demonstrates that couples who are able to communicate honestly about their sexual wants report higher levels of sexual satisfaction.
- Show Compassion When Addressing Concerns Regarding Performance
It is a significant error to have a negative reaction to performance concerns, such as erectile dysfunction being one example. When it comes to avoiding self-centered responses, such as crying, pouting, or blaming a partner of lacking attraction, Vanessa emphasizes the need of avoiding these behaviors.
Over fifty percent of males between the ages of forty and seventy are affected by erectile dysfunction. An undue amount of stress might be caused by incorrectly viewing it as a reflection of one’s desirability. According to the findings of a survey conducted by Superdrug, sixty percent of women reported that their partner’s erectile dysfunction (ED) did not have any impact on their relationship, despite the fact that it did have an impact on their confidence. In order to successfully navigate such obstacles jointly, empathy and understanding are essential.
Remarks to Conclude
The counsel offered by Vanessa Marin serves as a timely reminder that in order for an intimate connection to flourish, two things are required: effort, communication, and compassion. It is possible for couples to cultivate a connection that is more supportive and gratifying if they face and fix these frequent mistakes. Her observations provide a helpful step-by-step guide to a more fulfilling romantic relationship, whether you are attempting to overcome new obstacles or you are merely wanting to improve your connection.
