When an Australian “sexuality educator” recommended that parents ask a baby’s consent before changing their nappies, it sparked a contentious internet discussion.
Deanne Carson’s contention that a “culture of consent” must begin at birth has sparked interest and perplexity among internet users. One netizen enquired as to whether obtaining “consent from your cat to change its litter tray” is also required.
In a world where parenting practices are changing more quickly than ever before, the subject of permission is appearing in unexpected places, including changing nappies.
It may seem unrealistic to ask a baby’s permission before changing a dirty nappy, mostly since newborns and babies are not yet able to respond verbally.
Deanne Carson contends, however, that it’s more important to establish the groundwork for consent and mutual respect at an early age than it is to have a formal response.
Carson, who calls herself a “sexuality educator, speaker, and author” on Twitter, believes that a culture of consent must begin at birth.
“The idea is to emphasise respect for the child’s body and autonomy,” she explains. The idea of personal agency can be introduced to infants by parents by describing actions, such as “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?” and stopping to observe body language.
Developing communication and trust
Instead of waiting for a verbal “yes,” the self-described expert contends that this approach should promote a two-way dialogue between parents and children.
“Obviously, a baby won’t say, ‘Yes, mum, that’s fantastic, I’d love to have my nappy changed,” Carson stated in an interview with Australia’s ABC system. “However, you are communicating to that child that their response is important if you wait for body language and make eye contact before responding.”
The importance of reacting to a baby’s non-verbal cues, such as coos, laughter, or gestures, as part of effective communication is frequently emphasised by paediatricians and early childhood specialists. By integrating babies in the process and educating them about what is occurring, incorporating consent into nappy changes is consistent with this.
“Left lunacy”
However, not everyone believes that this strategy is required or viable, and some contend that infants are still too young to comprehend the idea of permission.
According to Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, it is “lefty lunacy” to ask a baby’s consent to change their nappies.
Parenting specialist, psychologist, and columnist John Rosemond also claims that Carson is “the Weird and Even Weirder for the Most Bizarre Idea of All Time.”
“A person who suggested that parents should ask infants for permission to change their nappies would be viewed as insane by everyone but herself once upon a time, and not all that long ago,” Rosemond writes in the Reno Gazette Journal. Carson’s “culture of consent” is paradoxically transformed into a family culture of misunderstanding, distrust, denial, and general dysfunction.
After Carson’s comments sparked a flurry of online discussions, many people on social media ridiculed her beliefs and criticised her qualifications.
“I’m fairly certain that a baby’s wailing is consent when they’re uncomfortable in a full nappy. In fact, one internet user adds, “I would even go so far as to call it a demand.”
“A self-proclaimed ‘expert’ advises parents to get consent before changing their child’s nappy,” says a second. She has absolutely no experience with children, based on this.
In response to a video posted on X, a third internet user asked: “Does your cat have to give permission before you change its litter tray? No. If it smells, replace it. A baby is the same. If it wees or poohs, simply replace it! Another adds, “It is legally recognised as child abuse to leave a child in a dirty nappy.” Does this jerk think that children should be abused? Compared to others who advocate against jabs, she is more hazardous.
'Sexuality expert' says parents should ask for baby's consent when changing nappies.
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) May 10, 2018
Yes, really… pic.twitter.com/iR6wUfP87i
But others leaped to her support, claiming that although Carson’s example was flawed, her intentions were excellent.
One internet user comments, “I’m genuinely surprised by the unfavourable reaction you received to this. Infants [and] toddlers acquire effective communication skills before they can speak. I appreciate you allowing the trolls to start a conversation about this. What harm could [showing respect] cause, even if you’re mistaken?
According to a second comment, “I believe she wants to promote a dialogue about consent among children, but she has glorified it by going too far. Babies are unable to provide their permission. At any time. They’re infants! Their necessities for survival and safety are presumed.
Another writes, “Deanne Carson is right. It’s simple to talk to your infant. Establishing an environment of consent in your house is simple.
Despite the ongoing controversy, most people concur that there are benefits to being aware of and talkative with babies, even if it isn’t directly related to consent.
Whether or not to “ask” for consent may ultimately depend on your parenting preferences and comfort levels. Some people believe that asking for consent is just another method to develop a loving, respectful relationship with their newborns; for others, it may be sufficient to just interact with their baby, pay attention to their needs, and respond to them.
Regarding Carson’s suggestion that parents ask infants for permission to change their nappies, what do you think? Kindly share this story and let us know what you think so we can hear from others!
