Earlier, I went to the store with my service dog to get the things most people need from a shop. Things were very hectic that day and the shelves were running low, making both customers and staff stressed. While I waited to pay for my groceries, a lady ahead of me was buying enough paper towels and bathroom rolls to cost at least $200. I didn’t speak, but I noticed what was happening. It was impossible to resist.
She changed direction, looked at my dog and in a confident way said, “What breed of dog is that?” I answered casually, “He’s a service dog for me.”
She gave a wary smile and added, “I was sure you would get it.” What problem can I assist you with?” It was coming across in her manner that she was ready to challenge something I said.
I made a joke by saying, “He’s a BLD person.” Then, as always, my dog was wagging his tail and playfully licked her, just being his friendly self.
She raised her eyebrows as if she didn’t get it. “What do you mean by BLD?”
I said, keeping a straight face, “It actually means Butt Licking Dog.”
She blinked. “Butt Licking Dog?”
Because I can’t find any toilet paper, thanks to all the hoarding, the dog is taught to lick me clean, I told her.
There was dead silence for a moment. The woman lost all expression in her face. After a relatively professional moment, the cashier suddenly laughed and completely lost her composure. Meaning she was laughing so much that she was almost crying. Other people in the line began to laugh as well.
She did not say much after making that observation. She looked away with no reaction, checked out what she had and was quiet throughout the process.
With my few belongings and my dear dog, I managed to escape the disaster he had helped start. I just wanted to make things light, but I guess I wound up getting the message across too.
Facing absurd situations sometimes requires making jokes. Especially since people are spending hundreds on toilet paper right now.
