My spouse said he was heading to England for a week-long business trip. He told me to remain home and get better because I didn’t need to go meet his parents in the country. But that day, my gut told me to do something else, so I took the bus to surprise my in-laws.
When I walked through the gate, the first thing I saw wasn’t my mother-in-law’s warm smile or my father-in-law’s slim figure cleaning the yard. I stopped in my steps when I saw a complete row of baby diapers hanging on clotheslines. Some had stains from milk, and others had stains from yellow.
I was stuck and couldn’t move. My in-laws were in their fifties, which is way too old to have a baby. No one in our family had left a child with them either. So, who did these diapers belong to?
With shaky hands, I went inside. There was a faint smell of baby formula in the air, but the house was extremely silent. On the table was a feeding bottle that was half full. My chest was tight, and my mind was racing. Is it possible that my husband is keeping something from me?
We heard a baby cry from the old bedroom where my husband and I used to stay when we visited. I ran there quickly, and my hands shook as I tried to open the latch. When the door opened, I saw a baby on the bed. His small arms and legs were flailing around while my mother-in-law quickly changed his clothes.
When she saw me, she looked wan, like all the blood had left her face. I stammered and said:
— Mom, whose kid is this?
She shook her hands, looked aside, and spoke softly:
— Don’t hate us, please… This kid is related to us by blood.
I couldn’t feel anything in my body. My husband’s excuses, his strange trips, her lies… everything was jumbled up in my head.
Is it conceivable that my husband had a kid with someone else?
I slumped into a chair and looked at the baby. There was no disputing that his forehead and eyes looked the same. My throat tightened as my mother-in-law held the infant in her quivering arms.
— Mom… What’s happening? I pushed.
She cried as she spoke the truth:
— This is John’s child. We weren’t going to keep it a secret for long, but his dad advised us to “wait for the right time.” We didn’t think you’d get here so fast…
Everything in my life went apart. His trips and justifications were all just ways to hide this awful truth.
“What about the mother of the baby?” I asked, my voice breaking.
She gazed down:
— She left the baby and disappeared… John has been having a hard time alone, so…
The gate creaked open before she was done. There were footsteps that sounded familiar. My husband walked in with a suitcase and his face turned white when he saw me.
“What are you doing here?” He stammered, and when he saw the baby in his mother’s arms, his face changed.
I jumped up, my anger seething.
— Your “business trip to England”… Was that just a way for you to take care of your illegitimate son in secret?
It was hard to breathe in the room. My mother-in-law held the baby, my father-in-law stood still at the door, and my husband had beads of sweat on his forehead.
I stepped forward and almost screamed:
— Come on! Isn’t this your child?
After a long moment of stillness, he eventually nodded.
I was heartbroken. Everything I loved, believed in, and gave up has turned to ash.
I laughed in a bad way.
— For all these years, I was only a puppet, and you lived a double life: you were my husband and the father of another woman’s kid.
He went up to me and held my hand strongly.
— Please, please pay attention to me. It’s not what you think it is… I wanted to tell you, but—
I swiftly took my hand away, and my eyes were ablaze.
— Not what I think? What’s next? Did this infant fall from the sky?
The silence was too much to handle. I raised my hand to tell my mother-in-law to stop talking. I needed him to be honest with me.
— How long were you planning to keep this from me? Until the baby said, “Aunt?” Or until I couldn’t have babies anymore, and you used that as a reason to get rid of me?
He didn’t say anything and bowed his head. That quiet was the hardest thing to admit.
I took a deep breath and spoke in a calm, firm voice:
— Good. You have a son, but I still have my pride. Leave me and get a divorce. I don’t want to be the sad wife who everyone feels bad for.
He was afraid:
— No! I was wrong, but please think of my parents and our family.
I looked at him coldly:
— You were the only one who never thought about this family.
I turned around and walked away, leaving behind my husband’s desperate requests, my mother-in-law’s tears, and the baby’s crying.
But I kept going. I could only think of one thing: I’ll start afresh, but not with him.
