I wanted some financial assistance from my father, but instead, he spends all his retirement money on a $35,000 motorcycle.
He thought of his journey as his last grand adventure which made it easier for him to ignore his daughter’s financial needs.
For five decades, he spent his days in a dirty motorcycle repair shop, often leaving the place with greasy hands and a strong scent of cigarettes. His old tattoos and biker clothes made me ashamed in front of my friends.
I thought he would use the money from selling the shop on something safe, like helping me pay for the condo I want.
Instead, he used all the money for a flashy motorcycle and wanted to travel across the country.
I confronted him with these concerns and he responded with a chuckle and said, “Sweetheart, with my age, all challenges are end-of-life problems.”
As if becoming 73 gives him a pass to ignore me. While I’m racking up bills at the age of 42, he’s running after open roads and catching sunsets like he’s still a carefree twenty-year-old.
While I turn down my own holidays and stop by work to cover extra shifts, he once again shows off his choice to leave town for delivery work. According to my friends, parents who can afford to should assist their kids. However, Dad believes this trip is finally his reward for everything he has done.
After my mother died five years ago, I wished he would start acting more mature.
She made sure he stayed true to himself. Without her influence, he has gone back to being wild, joining his biker friends and having an embarrassing midlife crisis at an old age.
Just a few days back, I sat with him and tried to make him understand. You don’t have to get a brand-new Harley. You could get a simpler car, contribute to my condo and you would still have enough left for yourself.
He responded with, “Amanda, I have been responsible for everything all my life.” I supported you through your studies in college. Provided help when you bought your first home.
“I don’t think so,” I objected. “Now, my situation is making me ask for help.”
He pointed out to me my age and said, “You are a jub, dah.” I came into life without anything. Your mom and I created everything from the ground up using only our hands.
“Still, you have money to work with,” I said. You have the ability to change my life.
He said, “I already tried.” “We work hard every single day to give you advantages.”
Once I said Mom would not have allowed this wastefulness, he seemed to calm down. He took out a picture I have not seen of Mom sitting on a motorcycle wearing a leather jacket, smiling at the camera just like I do sometimes.
One of Amanda’s great loves was riding bikes. This is how we connected. She’d have come on the trip with me if she was able to.”
This shocked me. She was not the person I envisioned in my mind. But he kept telling us that it had happened. When she was alive, she encouraged me to never stray from what I dreamed of. So, this trip is a joint adventure for the two of us.
It was a week later and I stood in his parking space as he put his things in the car.
My friends from the biker gang were enjoying themselves, laughing and chatting, while I felt furious and was apart from them. He brought his helmet tucked under a protective arm and I attempted to change his mind for the final time.
Why are you only thinking about yourself? I said. While you’re on your way with everything you need, I barely manage to survive.
Despite looking overly tired, he remained calm. “My efforts paid off in this achievement. I’m sorry things are difficult for you at this time. However, this has been my goal for many years.
He then gave me an envelope. There was a check inside which would not cover all the money I owed, but it was enough for some relief.
“I am selling my tools to make that happen,” he commented. I felt they should be put to some use.
I was puzzled and said, “Why are we arguing if in the end you would help me?”
“The reason is that this had nothing to do with money,” he responded. It means respecting that I am finally choosing to live my own way.
He was gone by morning, with his new Harley catching the sun’s light. As the motorcycles drove away, holding on to the check, I was finally questioning if I may have been wrong about Steven all this time.
Many weeks had gone by before that happened.
He wrote postcards and made numerous phone calls to me during our separation. Over time, the small talk we had at the beginning turned into important discussions.
I started wondering about his riding adventures and the freedom he felt. He said playing music was the most alive he felt in comparison to anything.
Once he was back, I went to his place to meet him. While I was unpacking his things, I experienced a transformation within me. I didn’t see someone rushing after the young, but a man happily living again after so much dedication.
While we were together that night, I said, “I need to apologize to you.” Because you are not aware of your true nature.”
He smiled. Everyone has things they are unaware of, Amanda. I’m so happy that you’re noticing me now.
