Three senior men sat next to each other on a wide wooden veranda at a retirement home on a quiet afternoon. The warm, golden light of the evening sun fell on their wrinkled faces as they swayed back and forth in their chairs. They could hear birds in the trees and the distant sound of people working outside the gates. They didn’t have to be anywhere or do anything important; all they needed was each other and the comfort of their daily existence.
The first man broke the silence by leaning forward, making a slight groan, and sighing. “Guys,” he added, “I’ve got some real issues.” He looked at his friends, who turned their heads and half-listened. “Now I’m seventy years old.” Every morning at 7:00 a.m., I try to pee. Just try it. I try again and again all day. I’ve seen doctors and other experts. They’ve given me a lot of different drugs, such teas, bladder relaxers, and water tablets. Nothing is functioning. Not even one drop. I promise, I spend more time in the restroom than I do outside of it.

The second man shook his head and laughed in a dry way. He answered, “You think things are bad for you?” “I’m eighty. And every morning at 8:00, I sit on the toilet and try to go to the bathroom. I drink fiber beverages, eat a lot of prunes, and take all the stomach medicines that are advertised on TV, but nothing works. I read the newspaper for hours, hoping something would happen. “It’s like trying to get toothpaste out of a tube that hasn’t been used in ten years.”
They both looked at the third man, who was the oldest of the three. He hadn’t said anything until now. He was calmly rocking back and forth with his arms crossed over his chest. Finally, he smiled and said, “Well, boys, I’m ninety years old.”
The other people seemed shocked. It wasn’t funny when it hit ninety.
“I have to go to the bathroom every morning at 7:00 on the dot. No issues. Then, at exactly 8:00, I had a great bowel movement. “No work, no fight.” Just smooth and simple.
The first two men seemed astonished. The second individual asked, “What’s the issue?”
The ninety-year-old woman stopped and smiled a little. “I don’t wake up until 9.”

Everyone on the porch started to laugh, the kind of laugh that only old people who have a lot of problems can make. They laughed at life, at how strong the body was, and at how they never lost their sense of humor, even when they became older.
But the legends about long lives didn’t end there.
A 97-year-old man walked into an insurance agency that was only a few blocks away. There were filing cabinets and promotional posters on the walls, and it was a quiet place. He was short, but he walked with confidence. He looked good in his suit, polished shoes, and hair that was nicely slicked back. He confidently strolled up to the counter and said to the young insurance agent, “Hello, my son.” I want to buy life insurance.
The agent blinked and then looked up. He had never seen an old person stroll in alone and ask for life insurance before. He still grinned and said, “Of course, sir.” I only need to know why you want to buy life insurance right now, if you don’t mind me stating so.
The old man didn’t wait. “I thought it was the right thing to do, so I’m going to Europe next month.” My dad and I are going on a trip together.
The agent didn’t move. “Your… father?” he asked slowly.
The old man responded “yes” with pride and calm. “He is 127.”
The agent’s mouth practically fell off. “127?!” Are you both heading to Europe? Why?
The old man grinned. “We’re going to my grandpa’s wedding.”
The agent almost fell out of his chair. “Wait, your grandpa? How old is he?
“Oh, about 150,” the old man said, waving his hand like it was no big deal.
The agent couldn’t believe it and said, “And now he’s getting married?” At 150?
At just the ideal time for comedy, the old man leaned in a little and said, “Yeah, well… you know how it is.” His parents are finally forcing him stay in one place.
He tipped his hat, which shocked the young man and maybe even made him rethink what he thought he understood about becoming older, family, and how long we are really “too old” for anything.
These weird, amusing, or even real anecdotes might help us remember how great it is to get older. Things may slow down in life, but the enjoyment doesn’t have to.