Hang on, everybody! So sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh your ass off as you may learn a thing or two. These six jokes are not your ordinary knee-slappers, they are full of wisdom to make you laugh and want to write them down.
Doesn t life always teach us in a funny way? It can be heartbreak, or it can be triumph, or it can be–just sometimes–a well-placed joke that causes you to spit up your coffee.
So, today we are going to explore the world of humor with a twist on it: the jokes that will not only make you laugh around your funny bone but also drop a piece of real wisdom into your heart.
Now, perhaps you are saying, Jokes? Wisdom? Fortune cookies, are we? Nope, we mean the good old fashioned kind of story telling with a punchline that carries a wallop and a moral that you remember even after the giggles have disappeared.
Then, without further ado, let us get straight into these six outrageous stories that will make you realize that laughter really is the best teacher.
Joke #1: The 800 Shower Interruption
A lady was just taking a shower when the doorbell rang. Her1 husband was about to take a shower and she hurriedly took a towel, wrapped up her body and went down the stairs to open the door.
She was met by Bob, the neighbor who seemed to have forgotten about the memo on proper visiting hours. And then, before she could question him as to the reason of his calling at her door, he had told her something that seemed too good to be true.
I will give you eight hundred dollars to put down that towel.
The witzy lady now made some swift calculations in her head. On one hand dignity. On the other eight hundred dollars.
Quickly the towel was flung down and the woman stood before Bob with no clothing on.
Bob, as Tournament of Roses, took the money and departed as promised (and probably asking himself whether he ought not to have opened the bidding at a lower figure).
The woman took the towel and wrapping it around her once more, closed the door and turned back into her room.
Upstairs again, her husband, who had no idea of the spontaneous peep show, inquired what the visitor was.
Who was that?
“The next-door neighbor was Bob.”
That is great, he said. Did he mention the 800 dollars he owes me?
Lesson learned:
By sharing key information that is related to credit and risk with your shareholders ahead of time, you could find yourself able to avoid unnecessary exposure.
Or, to put it in other words: Never strip down to the essentials before you know all there is to know about a deal!
Joke #2: The Corporate Retreat, the Genie Style
Our fearless threesome of a sales rep, an administration clerk and their manager had an ordinary day. This happened as they were going to have lunch, and fate stepped in, in the shape of a dusty old lamp.
Most folks would have passed on by, but our heroes were not most folks. They chose to rub it and to their surprise, a genie came out of it.
This was not the typical, ordinary genie. Nope, this was a genie that enforced one-wish-per-person policy.
First in, as might have been expected of her, with her lightning-quick decision-making ability that had held her in an entry-level job for years, was the administration clerk.
I would like to be in the Bahamas, speed-boating, with nothing to worry about!
Poof! She disappeared, and all that was left of her was the smell of coconut sunscreen and bad life decisions.
Next was the sales rep.
“I would prefer to be in Hawaii, lying on the beach with my own masseuse, endless flow of Piña Coladas and the person I love most in the world!”
Poof! He vanished, too, and left a trail of desperation and the unanswered question of who was to take his afternoon calls.
At last, the manager came up.
“I want the two back in the office after lunch!”
The lesson learnt:
Your boss should always have the first say.
Joke #3: Aament to Misinterpretation
There was a time when a priest gave a lift to a nun, and she jumped in.
The nun crossed her legs as they rolled along, and her gown flattered more than usual of ankle. Suddenly recollecting that he was human beneath that collar, the priest almost made their holy roller a highway catastrophe.
Having gained control over the car and over his senses, the priest chose to meddle with the waters of temptation. He had crept up the leg of the nun with his hand.
“Do you remember, Father, Psalm 129?” said the nun calmly.
The priest startled back his hand. But he was not able to hold out very long.
His hand was again on its march of immorality up her leg. And the nun, again, the biblical crumb: Father, do you remember Psalm 129?
Sorry sister, said the priest.
And when they arrived where they were going, the nun continued on her merry way. In the meantime the priest hastened to find Psalm 129.
And there it was, in black and white, “Go forth and seek, further up, thou shalt find glory.”
Lesson learned:
In your job, you may lose a great opportunity in case you are not well informed.
Joke #4: The Cautionary Tale of the Lazy Bird
In a forest where animals obviously had nothing better to do than to philosophize on laziness, a crow resolved to introduce doing nothing as an Olympic sport.
Up in a tree this feathered bum was sitting around having the best time, most likely pondering the meaning of caw or why he was not a peacock.
In comes the rabbit, who is the would-be couch potato of the forest.
May I too sit about like you and do nothing all day long? he said to the crow.
Why not, said the crow.
Well, the rabbit, who thought he had just hit the laziness lottery, sat himself down at the foot of the tree.
He reached out, and was likely to be thinking, This is the life. No more running, no more irritating whats up doc jokes. Only me and the ground and honey, nothingness.
And sadly, there will always be someone who will be waiting to capitalize on your off time. One of the foxes saw the lazy rabbit.
He was soon on the rabbit, and made him his lunch. And a stern lesson of the food chain it was.
Lesson learned:
They must be sitting very high up to be sitting and doing nothing.
Or, to express it in the current lingo: When you intend to relax, be sure to be beyond the office predators.
Joke #5: The Rise of Turkey to Success.
There was a turkey in a farmyard where dreams, it seemed, grew as high as the trees, and this turkey, which had high ambitions, had an unusual conversation with a bull.
I wish I could do that, said the turkey, looking up at the big oak.
The bull, as usual, (and so full of it), proposed a peculiar solution.
Why not nibble at my droppings? They are nutrient-rich.”
It was the sort of thing that would cause any nutritionist to pass out.
The turkey took the advice surprisingly and after a good meal, she managed to gather strength to reach the lowest branch. Confided by this success, she went on her dung-powered escalation day after day.
Then, at last, on the fourth day, there he sat, grandly seated at the tree-top. And soon, he was to learn that his high-rise success story was to crash down.
This misplaced turkey, being discovered by a farmer, declared that an impromptu Thanksgiving was in order.
Our ambitious bird was brought down to reality with a single shot and his dreams of greatness were literally shattered.
Lesson learned:
In this game of life, ensure that your success is not standing on solid waste only.
Joke # 6: The Bird, the Dung, and the Cunning Cat
Imagine a little bird, who flies south in the winter, and is likely to dream of piña coladas and tiny bird-sized sunglasses. Then, all at once, the cold was shocking, and the bird fell into a field.
As he stood there frozen, a cow came and plopped a steaming dung-heap on his head.
This was a blessing in disguise instead of being the last insult.
The bird was thawed out by the warm dung, and, as he found himself in such a hot tub, he started warbling merrily. He was blissfully unaware that his joy was very temporary.
This singing dung-heap attracted the curiosity of a passing cat. He soon dug the bird out, and ate him, rather than give him a towel.
Lesson learned:
We learn many things in life through the muddy circumstances. Always bear in mind that not every one who dumps on you is an enemy and not every one who pulls you out of a mess is a friend. Above all, when you are up to your ears in a big pile of trouble, sometimes the best policy is to say nothing and sizes up the situation before you act.
