Mia convinced me to go on a blind date with Eric, who is her boyfriend’s friend. She stated he was a gentleman, polite, and worth a try. To be honest, our dinner date seemed to back up what she said. He handed me roses, pulled out my chair, and even gave me a keychain with my name on it. We talked freely, he paid for the whole lunch without thinking twice, and he made sure I got to my car securely. As I drove home, I thought that maybe, just maybe, the affair may end happily.
That morning, he sent me an email that made my phone ring. I smiled because I thought I would get a good message. Instead, I got a carefully put together bill. He had added up the costs of dinner, flowers, the “personalized gift,” and something he called “emotional effort owed.” At the bottom, he wrote a letter that made it sound like I owed him “reciprocation” in the form of more dates, or else he would tell his friend Chris that I was ungrateful. The pleasant man from last night suddenly looked a lot more like a red flag.
I told Mia everything, and she told Chris right away. Both were shocked, and to be honest, they thought it was funny how dumb he was. Chris wrote Eric a humorous “invoice” that said he was disrespectful, deceptive, and “a full-service embarrassment in public,” as the tabloid put it. As soon as Eric got it, he sent me a lot of texts. At first, he said it was a joke, then he called me sensitive, and last, he said I had “missed out on a great guy.”
I placed him on wait. No justification was given. No argument. Just silence. It seems like he was most upset about losing an audience. Mia, on the other hand, kept apologizing sorry for the way things were set up. But really? I was grateful. It’s better to discover out what a man is truly like on the first date than to waste months finding out that he feels you owe him kindness.
What was the funniest thing that happened when we met? He worked all night to make himself look good. That bill, on the other hand, demonstrated who he truly was: someone who saw love as a duty and dating as a transaction. I didn’t feel horrible. I was happy. People who keep note of small acts of kindness aren’t looking for love; they’re looking for power.
“The one who charged me for dinner” is what I say when people ask me about my worst date. It always makes people laugh. But the real irony is that he thought it was his job to give me that promise. What did it truly get? My clarity—and my quick escape.
