A 90-year-old woman visits the doctor.
“Dr. I can’t stop passing gas. I can’t handle it anymore, even though they don’t smell or make noise.
“Take these pills every day and come back in a week.”
“Doctor, what did you do to me?” “I’m still farting, and now they smell too!”
“Okay, now let’s talk about your hearing…”
A nice lady with a nice perfume smell got on the bus and sat next to me.
After a while, I grew brave enough to ask her, “Excuse me, lady, could you please tell me what this perfume is called and where you got it?” I want to buy one for my wife.
“It’s Chanel, and it comes from Paris,” the woman remarked.
About five minutes later, I felt a big wind in my stomach, so I blew it out cautiously.
She broke down and cried, “Oh my God, what is that smell?” a few seconds later.
I said, “Garlic, and I’m from Gilroy, California.”
A stunningly gorgeous young woman was sitting in a nice restaurant one night.
She was still feeling bloated from lunch, so she was scared to fart in front of her date, who hadn’t come yet.
She didn’t wait long before she let one out, but she was able to cover it up with a fake cough.
She kept waiting for her date to show up, but she wanted to make sure everything was perfect.
She bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, and as the waiter comes up, she lets off a loud fart.
She looks to the waiter and exclaims, “Stop that!” Now that she’s sitting up straight and embarrassed, her face is red.
The waiter looks at her with a dry expression and says,
“Of course, ma’am.” What way was it going?
A man in his 80s goes to the doctor because his leg hurts and won’t get better. He wants to know what’s wrong and why. The doctor looks at his leg and doesn’t see anything wrong. He gives the old guy a comprehensive medical exam, but he still can’t figure out what’s making him hurt.
The doctor delivers the patient his bill and says, “I’m sorry, but the pain in your leg is just a sign that you’re getting older.” I can’t do anything about it.
The old man is horrified and says, “That’s not possible!” That can’t be!
The doctor says, “What do you mean?” I’m the one who knows best. If you know so much, how can you argue it’s not old age?
The patient says, “I’m not a doctor, but I can tell that your diagnosis is wrong.” You are wrong. My other leg is fine, after all.
The doctor says, “So what?” “Why does that matter?”
“Well, it doesn’t hurt at all, and it’s the same age!”
