I never thought my daughter’s father-daughter dance night would end in tears, but that all changed when a dozen Marines showed up at the gym. I discovered the limits of love and loyalty as pride and sadness clashed on the dance floor. Keith’s vow came home to us that evening.
Time does an odd thing when you lose someone.
Days blend together until it seems like a never-ending morning when you wake up wishing for a different world.
Even though my husband’s burial was three months ago, I still occasionally look for his boots at the entrance. He always checked the front lock, so I still make two cups of coffee every night.
Steamed gowns, shoes with sticky ribbons, and a young girl who keeps her hope neatly folded, like the pink socks she insists on wearing for every special occasion, are all examples of what pain looks like.
Three months have passed since my husband’s funeral.Do you need assistance, Katie? From the corridor, I made a call. At first, she didn’t respond.
I caught a glimpse of her sitting on the bed and gazing at her image in the wardrobe mirror. She wore the outfit that Keith had chosen for her last spring, which she referred to as her “twirl dress.””Mom?” she enquired. “Does it still count if Dad can’t go with me?”
My heart contorted. I tucked a stray curl behind her ear as I sat next to her. “Honey, of course it matters. Tonight, your dad would want you to shine. Therefore, it is precisely what we will do.”
My daughter pursed her lips in thought. “I wish to pay tribute to him. even if it’s just the two of us.”Your father would want you to excel tonight.
I swallowed a sudden lump in my throat and nodded. I heard Keith say, “Jill, I’ll take her to every father-daughter dance.” All of them. I swear.
It was now my responsibility to honour the promise he had made.
She gave her sneakers to me. “I long for my father. My shoes were tied up by him.
Like Keith always did, I knelt down and double-knotted them. “You look gorgeous, he would say. Katie-girl, he would be correct.”
With a glimpse of her former self, my daughter grinned. Over her heart, she put her “Daddy’s Girl” badge.
I could hear Keith’s voice in my mind.
Ignoring the pile of unpaid bills on the counter and the casserole plates from neighbours we hardly knew, I went downstairs and picked up my coat and pocketbook.
At the door, Katie halted and looked back down the corridor, perhaps hoping for a fleeting moment that Keith would show up and take her in his arms.
It was a calm commute to school. One of Keith’s favourite songs was quietly playing on the radio.
When I noticed Katie’s reflection in the window, her lips moving as she mouthed the lyrics, I kept my eyes on the road and blinked back tears.
The parking lot outside the elementary school was crowded. Dads waited in groups in the cold, laughing and throwing young ladies into the air as cars lined the curb.
At the door, Katie hesitated.
Their happiness was almost terrible. I gave Katie’s hand a squeeze.”Are you ready?” I enquired in a weak voice.Mom, I believe so.
The gym’s interior was a colourful funfair complete with streamers, balloons in shades of pink and silver and a silly-looking photo booth. Pop music bounced off the walls and pounded. Little sneakers flashed as fathers and daughters swirled about beneath a disco ball.
As we walked in, Katie’s pace slowed.”Are you ready?”Have you seen any of your pals? I looked around the throng and enquired.All of them are occupied with their fathers.
Staying close to the wall, we skirted the dance floor. Every few steps, people looked at us, at Katie’s overconfident smile, at me in all black.
Molly, a student in Katie’s class, waved from the other side of the room while her father awkwardly waltzed her. “Hi, Katie!” she called. Her father gave us a short nod and a smile.
Katie grinned but remained still.Have you seen any of your pals?
We located a place near the mats. Katie cuddled up next to me, knees to her chest, her badge gleaming in the coloured lights as I perched on the edge.
Her eyes were wide with anticipation as she watched the dance floor, but as soon as the slow song began, the weight of missing Keith seemed to lift.”Mom?” she muttered. “Maybe… maybe we should go home?”
I was on the verge of breaking. I grasped her hand and squeezed it till my knuckles ached. “Let’s just rest for a minute, my love,” I replied.
She kept an eye on the dance floor.
A bunch of mothers passed by at that precise time, their aroma following them. Cassidy, the PTA queen, was at the front and never seemed out of place.
She paused when she saw Katie and me, her eyes soft with what appeared to be worry.She spoke softly enough for the others to hear, “Poor thing.” Children are always affected negatively by events for whole families because, well, you know. families that are not complete.
My heart pounded in my ears as I tensed up.”What did you say?” I didn’t care if my voice sounded louder and sharper than I intended.Children are always affected negatively by events involving entire families.
With thin lips, Cassidy grinned. “Jill, I’m only pointing out that some events might not be suitable for everyone. This dance is between a father and daughter. If you are fatherless—””He gave his life defending this country,” I interrupted. “My daughter has a father.”
Taken aback, Cassidy blinked. The other mothers moved, instantly enthralled with their phones and bracelets.
Once more, the music shifted to one of Keith’s favourite oldies—the song he and Katie used to dance to in the living room. With her face hidden in my sleeve, Katie shrunk against me.”Mom, I wish he was here.”I am aware, my love. I smoothed her hair and whispered, “I wish that every day.” However, you’re doing fantastically, my dear. He would be quite pleased with you.He sacrificed his life to protect this nation.
Her eyes were wet as she looked up at me. “Do you think he’d still want me to dance?”He would probably want you to dance more than ever. “Ladybird, show them how it’s done,” he would remark. Despite the twisting in my heart, I tried to smile.
Fighting a tear, Katie squeezed her lips together. “But I feel like everyone’s looking at us.”
There were too many people pretending not to notice, and the silence seemed heavy around us.
Katie jumped when the gym doors suddenly slammed open with such a loud bang.What’s going on? Katie gripped my arm and murmured.
Twelve Marines marched in, their expressions serious and their uniforms shining. General Warner stood at their head, his silver stars gleaming in the gym lights.Would he still want me to dance, in your opinion?
He paused in front of Katie, bent over, and gave her a soft grin. “Miss Katie,” he said. “I’ve been looking for you.”
Wide-eyed, Katie gazed. “For me?”
With warmth in his eyes, General Warner nodded. “Your father promised us something. He claimed it was our responsibility to fill in for him if he was ever unable to be present. However, I had your dad’s entire family with me tonight, so I wasn’t alone. He owns this flat.
Katie gave them all a smile.
Keith’s handwriting was clearly visible on the front of the envelope the General took out of his jacket. The entire gym observed in silence.I’ve been trying to find you.””Go ahead, my love,” I muttered. “Take it, it’s from Daddy.”
With a nod, she cautiously opened the envelope. With the care of something sacred, she pulled out a letter and unfolded it. Her voice was quiet at first, but her lips trembled as she read.Katie-Bug
The greatest honour of my life has been being your father.
Bug, I’m battling to get home. I’m working to improve. However, I want my brothers to stand by you if I am unable to dance with you.
Little girl, put on your lovely clothing and dance. I’ll be in your heart.
Ladybird, I adore you.
Always.
“Dad.”The greatest honour of my life has been being your father.
She shed a few tears. She searched General Warner’s face as she glanced up at him.Did you truly know my father?
Grinning, the General bent down to look her in the eyes. “Katie, I did. Your dad was the lifeblood of our battalion, not just a Marine. He was often talking about you. He showed us all your sketches and photos that he kept in his locker.”
Grinning, Sergeant Riley moved forward. “Hon, it’s true. We were all aware of your pink boots, your spelling bee trophy, and your dancing routines. Your father ensured it.
She shed a few tears.
Katie’s eyes widened. “You know about my boots?”
Warner, the general, nodded. “Yes, indeed. as well as your princess outfit for Halloween. Katie, your father was very proud of you. If he ever needed us to step in, he made sure we would know who to look for.”
He got up and faced the gym. “We were forced to swear by one of our deceased brothers that his young daughter would never stand by herself at this dance. We’re here to honour his promise tonight.
Each Marine extended a hand and gave a brief, kind greeting as they spread out. Sergeant Riley made a modest bow.”Ma’am, may I have this dance?”
Laughing, Katie extended her hand. “Only if you know the chicken dance!”We’re here to honour his promise tonight.
Before long, music and laughing took over. The atmosphere changed to one of happiness and celebration as more girls and fathers joined.
Cassidy blushed and looked down, feeling suddenly uncomfortable in the throng. The other mothers chose not to look her in the eyes and drifted away.
And my daughter was encircled by the love her father left behind that evening.
I saw Mrs. Dalton, the principal of the school, observing from the other side of the gym. With tears sparkling in her eyes, she grinned at me.
Katie was in the middle of it all, laughing, dancing, and having pink cheeks.
The affection her father left behind was all around my daughter.
She once wobbled with pride when a Marine put his officer’s cap on her head as everyone in the room applauded and took pictures.
I couldn’t help but laugh. Being pleased didn’t feel like a betrayal for the first time since Keith’s burial.
General Warner returned to me as the gathering began to dwindle and the music faded. For a little period, he paused and placed a soft touch on my shoulder.I’m grateful. For everything. Keith never informed me that he requested you to come if he couldn’t make it, so I didn’t know.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
He grinned. “Isn’t that how he was? I never intended to cause you any concern. But just in case, he made sure we were aware.”General, he was everything to us.
Warner, the general, nodded. “I’ve never encountered a more honourable man than him. I would do anything for that man, even if it meant performing a chicken dance in front of eight-year-olds.
I felt lighter as I laughed with him.To be honest, Jill, we were all anxious. It’s difficult to follow Katie.”She is,” I said, as my daughter spin while her badge gleamed. “You brightened her evening. I believed it was gone, but you all gave it back to her.”It’s difficult to follow Katie.Families do that,” he stated. “Keith forced us to make a commitment. There was never a doubt.
With a happy expression, Katie rushed over. “Mom! Have you watched me dance? Furthermore, General Warner didn’t even cross my toes.”
I bent down to give her a hug, holding on a bit longer than normal. “My dear, you were incredible. And the happiest person would be your dad.”
She received a salute from General Warner. “Ma’am, it was our honour. You gave us all a nice appearance.”
The entire gym erupted in cheers when the final song came on. As Katie bowed in the middle of the floor, parents and teachers applauded. Cassidy was compelled to stand motionless at the edge of the throng and observe.Ma’am, it was an honour for us. You gave us all a nice appearance.”
Katie gave me a squeeze on the way out. “Can we come again next year?”I said, “Yes, we’ll be here.” “And so will Dad.”
We went outside into the chill. In my palm, Katie’s was warm. The stars above us were more brilliant than before. I felt the promise Keith had made for the first time since his departure.
The laughter that reverberated from the gym bore witness to it. It was in the way our young daughter whirled in the moonlight. At last, it felt like home.
