It’s a deep, human, and eternal way to say goodbye to the people we love. At that last moment, a lot of people really want to kiss the dead person’s forehead. This kind of thing is a means to convey love, a last gift of connection, and a method to help the heart start to heal.
But in the last few weeks, this close gesture has led to a heated internet debate when a viral video asked a scary question: Could kissing the dead be bad for your health?
A Moldovan doctor named Dr. Viktor Ivanovik filmed the video. He has a lot of fans on TikTok because he gives medical advise with empathy and real life. Dr. Ivanovik warned people not to kiss the deceased in this warning, especially if they died from a disease that could spread. He explained that some germs and viruses can still be there after death, which makes it very unlikely that they will spread.
His warning made a lot of people feel different things. Some folks enjoyed that the show was honest regarding health and safety. Some people believed it was too professional and cold, and they said the doctor was disrespecting a tradition that stemmed from love and loss.
The show isn’t only about science or tradition, though. It’s about how to deal with the difficult junction of grief and medicine.
Saying goodbye in person is part of the Global Grieving Practice.
In many cultures around the world, touching the body of the dead person is an important part of the grieving process. These times provide you closure, comfort, and a last act of love that words can’t always give you. They can be as basic as holding hands, kissing a forehead, or placing a hand on a still chest.
This gesture shows that you were important. I am here. I’ll take you with me.
These occasions usually occurs at family gatherings, viewings, or wakes before the burial or cremation. In that calm spot, touch helps people feel closer to one other and begins the long, hard process of letting go.
But sometimes you have to be careful before you show devotion, especially when it comes to public health.
When Public Health Guidelines Come Into Play: The COVID-19 epidemic changed a lot about how we grieve. What used to be considered close methods to show you care, including hugging at funerals, gathering close together, and touching the corpse, are now health risks. Health groups told people not to go too near to each other. Masks took the role of hugs. Goodbyes become quiet and far away because of glass, screens, or rules.
Even if a lot of these guidelines have been eased since then, they initiated a conversation that is still vital today: When should we be mindful when we say goodbye? How can we meet both our emotional and physical demands at the same time?
Is it dangerous to kiss a dead person? What Experts Think
Most people think that the risk of getting infected from a dead person is low, especially if they died from a disease that isn’t contagious, such heart failure, cancer, or old age.
But there are certain important exceptions, including when touching right away could be deadly, even after death. Medical and funeral experts urge to be careful if the deceased had any of the following:
Tuberculosis (TB)
Hepatitis B or C
Viral hemorrhagic fevers, like Ebola
Meningococcal disease and other bad bacterial illnesses
Several varieties of the flu and complications from COVID-19 are respiratory infections that spread quickly.
Sometimes, the body can still carry germs that can live outside of it for a long. People don’t usually get sick by touching a dead body, although it can happen.
So, Dr. Ivanovik’s message is meant to make people informed, not scare them.
Please talk to an expert if you’re not sure.
Every situation is unique. If you’re not sure what caused the death, experts say the best thing to do is talk to a doctor or a qualified funeral director.
Funeral homes and mortuary professionals know how to safely prepare and handle bodies. They might tell families what forms of contact are safe and when they need to take extra precautions, such not touching each other or using gloves and masks.
You don’t have to stop feeling sad when you say goodbye because of this advise. It only makes sure the goodbye is safe and polite.
Here are some safe and meaningful ways to say goodbye that don’t involve a kiss.
There are still nice and real ways to say goodbye even if you can’t touch someone or even touch them. Even if these rituals are different from what most people perform, they can nevertheless mean a lot and express love:
🕯️ Take a few minutes to light a candle and think in peace. Give the person a flower or put it next to them. Send them a note with your thoughts, regrets, and love, and leave it with them. Play their favorite song, either by yourself or at a memorial service. You can make a tribute at home using pictures, candles, and other things that are significant to you.
These tiny things help replace the emotional void that comes with not being able to touch someone. They say, “I remember.” I respect. I let go with love.
It’s personal to say goodbye and grieve.
There is more to this conversation than just germs. It’s about how we show affection and say goodbye when someone we care about dies.
Touch is healing for a lot of people. It’s not just a sign to kiss a parent, lover, or child one last time; it’s required. But some people could find solace in other rituals, or they might wish to be alone while they grieve.
It doesn’t matter if you kiss the forehead or light a candle.
The intention behind the action is what matters.
Finding Kindness in the Middle Ground
It’s normal to be torn between what your heart wants and what your intellect says. But you don’t have to be compassionate and observant at the same time.
Don’t judge the choices of a friend or family member who is mourning. If you’re the one who’s grieving, remember that there is no “right” way to say goodbye; just do what seems right for you.
If you have to adjust your routines due of health problems, remember that not blowing kisses doesn’t mean you don’t love someone.
Grief is real, and saying goodbye is safe.
Even when health is at stake, Dr. Ivanovik’s movie reminds us that love needs boundaries. But it also reminds us to find new ways to be there for one other, show respect, and stay in touch during the most critical times.
The affection, memories, and bond stay the same whether you touch a hand, kiss a brow, or say a prayer from a distance.
Don’t feel scared when you say goodbye; be polite.
And don’t forget that even the tiniest act of kindness is enough if it comes from the heart.
