An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other.
When they battled, people could hear them screaming and yelling all night long. The neighbors who were most scared of the man heard the same thing over and over again. “When I die, I’ll dig my way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life!”
They thought he was a black magician who was to blame for the missing animals, dogs, and strange noises that happened all the time. People were scared of him, and he liked that they respected him.
The casket was closed at the funeral, and he died in a bizarre and sudden way. The wife went straight to the bar after the funeral and started partying like there was no tomorrow.
Her actions were getting more and more out of control, and several of her neighbors came up to her and asked, “Aren’t you scared?” Are you worried? Do you feel worried? Are you frightened that this man, who practiced black magic, said he would dig his way out of the grave after he died and haunt you for the rest of your life?
She slammed her drink down and said, “Let the old bastard dig.” I put him in the ground upside down.
A couple in their 60s was in bed one night.
The woman wanted to talk, but her husband was sound sleeping.
She said, “You used to hold my hand when we were dating.”
He reached over, held her hand for a second, and then tried to go back to sleep.
“Then you used to kiss me,” she said a few seconds later.
He was a little upset, so he kissed her on the cheek and went to sleep.
“Then you used to bite my neck,” she said thirty seconds later.
He violently threw the sheets off the bed and got up.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
Me and my grandma
We were walking toward the United Nations Building in New York City when we observed a preacher on the street trying to get people’s attention.
He advised the people around him to get away from the wrath that was coming.
“I warn you,” he cried, “there will be crying, wailing, and grinding of teeth!”
An angry old woman in the crowd exclaimed, “Sir, I have no teeth!”
“Lady,” the pastor continued, “teeth will be given!”
