11 Easy Jokes About Work, Bars, and Weird Animals That Will Make You Laugh
Have you ever had a horrible day and just wanted to laugh? Laughter is one of the best ways to relax and feel better. Here are 11 funny jokes that will make you feel better. There are humorous coworkers, smart animals, and more.
1. Please give me two shots.
Every time a guy goes to a bar, he gets two shots. He drinks both of them and then leaves.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always get two?”
The
A few weeks later, the man just wants one shot.
The bartender asks, “Is your brother all right?”
The man smiles. “He’s okay.” “I just stopped drinking.”
2.Penguins on a trip
A police officer pulls over a truck driver because he hears strange sounds coming from the trailer.
He opens it up and sees 50 penguins!
The police officer says, “You can’t drive around with penguins.” “Take them to the zoo!”
The
The same police officer sees the same truck with the same penguins the next day.
The officer responds, “I thought you were going to the zoo with them!”
The driver says, “I did.” “They really liked it!” I’m taking them to the beach today.
3.The Talking Duck
A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a ham sandwich.
“You’re a duck!” the bartender shouts.
The duck says, “Yes.”
“And
The duck says, “Clearly.” “Now, what about that sandwich?”
The duck works on a building project nearby, it turns out. He comes in every day.
One day, the circus comes to town. The bartender tells the boss about the talking duck.
The manager is surprised and says, “Tell him to call me!”
The next day, the bartender tells the duck about the job at the carnival.
“Which circus?” the duck asks.
“Yes, a big tent, animals, and everything else.”
The duck thinks for a moment and then asks, “Why do they need a plasterer?”
4.The Centipede That Speaks Slowly
A sign says, “Talking centipede—$100,” and a man sees it. He gets it and takes it home.
“Hey, centipede, do you want to go get a beer?” he asks.
No answer.
He asks again later, this time in a louder voice.
The centipede suddenly says, “I heard you the first time!” I’m getting ready to put on my shoes!
5.An engineer who is at the wrong spot
An engineer goes to Hell when he dies because of a mistake.
Over there, things are falling apart. The roads are broken, the air conditioner isn’t working, and the pool is empty.
The engineer starts to fix everything. Hell becomes really nice.
God sees this and says, “This isn’t right!” That engineer should go to Heaven.
He tells the devil to send him back.
“Nope,” the devil says. “We enjoy having him here.”
“Okay,” God says. “Then I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughs and says, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
6.The Lawyer Who Knows How to Dress
Joe, who just became a lawyer, goes back to his hometown and begins a law firm.
No one comes in at first.
One day, someone walks in and Joe acts like he’s on an important call.
He says things like “Tell them I want a million dollars!” and “We won’t give up!”
He says, “Sorry for the wait,” when he hangs up. How can I help you?
The man says, “I’m only here to fix your phone line.”
7.Farming is hard work.
A man from the city moves to the country and decides to raise hens.
He buys 100 baby chicks.
A week later, he buys 200 more.
He wants 500 baby chickens next week!
The store clerk says, “You must be doing well!”
The guy says, “Not really.” “I think I’m putting them too deep in the ground or too far apart.”
8.Cooking for one person
Two men who are single talk about how to cook.
“I bought a cookbook, but I couldn’t follow any of the recipes,” one customer says.
“Too hard?” the other person says.
The first one says, “No.” “Take a clean dish…” was the first thing every recipe said.
9.How to Use the Shredder
The new worker at the office doesn’t know how to use the shredder.
A secretary nearby says they can help.
She shreds his big report.
“Look? “Easy,” she says.
The man says, “That’s great!” But where do the copies originate from?
10.Lost in the Desert
A man who is wandering in the desert suddenly finds a small house.
The kind owner helps him feel better.
When the man leaves, he wants to borrow a horse.
The owner says, “Of course.” “Say ‘Thank God’ to get him to leave and ‘Amen’ to stop him.”
To move quicker, the man rides his bike away while exclaiming “Thank God!”
He sees a cliff in front of him and shouts, “Amen!”
The horse stops just in time.
The man says, “Thank God…” in a relieved voice.
11.The Talking Peanuts
A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
Someone says, “Nice shirt!”
He looks around. The bartender and him are the only ones there.
Then someone comments, “Nice haircut!”
He tells the bartender, “I think I’m losing my mind.” People keep saying great things about me.
The bartender smiles and says, “Oh, those are just the nuts.” They don’t cost anything.
Want to laugh more?
If you smiled at any of them, the mission was a success.
There are funny things all around, like a smart duck, a dumb farmer, and a snarky centipede.
Tell a friend who needs a laugh today!
