I wish I hadn’t let my date pay for dinner.
I felt Eric was a terrific gentleman when he insisted on paying for our first date. With flowers, a wonderful present, and a sweet discussion, he was addressing all of her wants. I thought it would be good for him to contact me the next day, but what he wrote made me sick.
My best friend Mia offered to set me up on a date, although she had never done it before.
“Kelly, he’s a really nice guy!” A real gentleman. Mia called me when I was looking through my clothes and said, “You’ll love him.”
She said to her, “You haven’t set me up before,” “How do you know what kind of person I am?”
“Because I know you better than anyone else,” she added with certainty. Chris is also on his side. They have been pals for a long time.
That made me think. Chris, Mia’s boyfriend, was pretty excellent at figuring out what people were like. There might be hope if he felt this Eric person was great.
I answered, “Okay,” with a moan. “At least send me a picture.”
A few seconds later, my phone rang to tell me that I had a new message.
The dude in the picture was attractive. He was well-groomed, clean-cut, and had a smile that reached his eyes.
I said, “Okay, he’s cute.”
“Look!” I told you so! Mia yelled. “Set it up and text him.” I promise you won’t regret it.
After emailing each other in a fun way, I decided to go to dinner with Eric at a new Italian restaurant with a fantastic view of the river. It’s fine for a first date, but not anything special.
I got there five minutes early, as we had planned, and stood by the door. I was nervously looking at myself in the picture on my phone when I spotted him walking toward the restaurant.
My heart rate went up a tiny bit. He looked excellent in that polished, business-casual style, and the photo suggested that he was sure of himself.
The bouquet of roses he was holding startled me.
Not flowers from the store, but a real, professional arrangement with a bow.
He grinned like he did in the picture and added, “You must be Kelly.” “These are for you.”
“Oh wow, thanks,” I answered, totally startled they were offering things to me. “You didn’t have to do that.”
He gave me the roses and said, “I thought I’d start the night off right.”
But that wasn’t the only thing.
He pulled a small gift box with a blue bow out of his jacket pocket.
“What is this?” I was astonished and raised my eyebrows when I asked.
“Just a little bit.” “Please open it,” he said.
There was a smooth silver keychain with the letter “K” on it inside. It was one of a kind and fashionable, which was something to ponder about.
Without any bumps, He said, “This is just for you.” “I asked Mia what you might like.”
I have to tell, I was very impressed. A first date with flowers and a nice gift? This man clearly had something to say. He either genuinely liked her or was incredibly excellent at establishing first impressions.
When I said, “This is really nice of you,” I was very moved. “Thanks.”
Eric didn’t skip a beat in his polite routine. He opened the door, pulled out my chair, and kept looking at me while we talked.
He made me feel like the most intriguing person in the room, recalled facts about my family that I had just brought up in passing in our discussions, and asked great questions about my work as a graphic designer.
He asked, “So what made you agree to this?” after we had ordered our lunch.
I laughed and said, “Mia can be very convincing.” “Also, both she and Chris vouched for you, which doesn’t happen very often.”
He nodded and said, “They’re a great couple.” “I’ve known Chris since we were in college.” He has always been honest with what he says.
The talk got better from there.
We both liked podcasts and films on real crimes and weird groups of people.
He told humorous anecdotes about his profession as a marketing manager, which made me think this might be the best first date I’ve ever had.
I took my purse when the bill came.
Eric put his card on the check presenter before I could even open my purse and exclaimed, “Absolutely not.” “A man pays for the first date.”
I was a little surprised by his tone. It wasn’t simply courteous; it was the conclusion. He sounded like he was reading an unbreakable law.
I shrugged after waiting for half a second. “Fine, if that’s what you want.” Thanks.
I didn’t want to fight over a free dinner, especially after such a nice night. He asked if he might call me again soon after we said goodbye.
When I said, “I’d like that,” I actually meant it.
He hugged me goodbye in a way that was kind and interested, but not weird. I thought that was one of the nicest first dates I’d ever been on. I smiled all the way home.
Eric sent me a message the next day. I was expecting a pleasant “had a great time” text, but instead I got an attachment.
After I made coffee, I went back to bed. I opened it because I was curious and assumed it might be a photo of a restaurant or something like that.
It was a bill. A bill that is highly clear and well-organized.
In a bold, businesslike font above:
The Date Night Invoice still has one balance owing.
Below that was a full list of the services available and their prices.
I thought at first that it was a prank that wasn’t going to work. But when I read it, I almost had my morning coffee again.
I saw his gentlemanly charm in a whole new light after seeing how absurd the “services” he had bragged about were.
1 hug for the arrangement of roses
A personalized keychain and a coffee date (must be booked within a week) as a gift
Taking a lovely picture of each other while you open the car door
Taking the chair out: Keeping hands for the date coming up
Active listening and talking to someone: Someone said something about how I appeared.
Dinner was fantastic, and the advice was to not make excuses for a second date.
There was bolded wording at the bottom that showed the actual kicker—the part that made me think he was serious about sending this bill.
You have to pay the full amount. No returns. If Chris doesn’t pay his bill, it will go to collectors, and he will be warned about it.
Can’t wait for you to pay on time!
My lips fell to the ground.
It would have been awful enough if he had begged for money, but to charge me for the love and care I needed? Who does that?
I sent Mia a picture of the bill right away. She replied right away.
“Oh my god. I’m giving this to Chris right now.
“Is this really happening?” I typed back, still in shock. “He’s serious!”
“Wait for Chris to answer this. She said, “He’s going to lose it.”
After five minutes, my phone rang.
Chris was there, and he couldn’t stop laughing.
He might say, “Kelly, I can’t believe this,” between breaths. “I’ve known this guy for years, and I never thought he would do something this crazy.”
“Is this really not a joke?” I asked.
Chris answered, “Not a chance.” “Eric’s dating has always been a little crazy, but this is really crazy.” Okay, we need to get back at this guy.
Chris was the most petty person I ever met.
He wanted to do more than just tease Eric in their group chat.
He said, “This is what my invoice will look like.” “Same formatting, fake legal tone, crazy fees, the whole thing.”
Chris sent me his work an hour later.
He charged me a lot of money for putting me through this stupidity, which made me laugh out loud.
The bill for the service says that you owe them silence for the rest of your life.
A lovely lady is here to see you: One permanent block on all platforms
A deep, intimate look at why you are single: Convincing Her That You Were a Gentleman
A formal apology to all the ladies you’ve dated for letting you eat at the same table as her.
Not letting you view everything on the Internet: A good present that you should be thankful for
You need to pay right away. If you don’t follow the guidelines, you could be embarrassed in public. Thanks!
I wrote him an email that stated, “This is great!” and “Send it!”
“Sent!” After a time, he eventually answered.
Soon after, my phone got a lot of messages from Eric that were getting more and more irate.
“Wow, that’s very grown up.”
“I was just trying to be honest; not everyone is wealthy.”
“Chris is not a good friend.”
“You just missed out on a great guy.”
I didn’t even bother to talk to them. What would you say to someone who thought that relationships were based on commercial deals? I just blocked his number and sent him a thumbs-up emoji.
That night, Mia called me and was still laughing about what had happened.
“I really thought he was normal,” she said. “I’m very sorry.” Chris also didn’t know what kind of guy he was.
I told them not to worry about it, and I was amazed at how calm I was. At least we all got a good story out of it.
“That’s true,” she said. “This is going to be told at every party for the next ten years.”
One thing I learnt about dating from the whole ordeal is that if a man insists on paying, you should make sure he won’t send you a bill later.
But what about the key ring? I kept it. It made me think of Eric, but it was a funny memory of the weirdest date I’ve ever been on.
