The last two years my husband had had a bad habit of springing family visits on me last minute.
He would tell me casually his parents or sister were coming to visit which really meant I was supposed to clean, cook and entertain with very little warning.
I humoured them a little. Not this time, however.
It was Saturday morning, a quiet one at that, and I was relaxing when he burst in with his smirk on his face and stated that his family will arrive in four hours. Only a little bit.”
Then, he gave me a checklist of all the things I needed to do clean the kitchen, grocery shopping, cooking dinner and dessert, and even wiped the baseboards!
I did not know it was possible.
he flumped himself down on the couch as though he were a monarch, and prepared to rest. In the meantime I fumbled about.
However, I did not get into an argument; I just smiled and replied, “Yeah, I will go to the shop.”
I then took my purse and drove to Target. And there I remained.
I ordered a latte and wandered the aisles and spent as much time as I wanted doing nothing quite useful.
I was not frantically running to fulfill the unrealistic expectations of someone as usual.
After some time I messaged him: Still at the store. The traffic is wild .”
It was glorious as I got home late.
A half-cleaned room, yelling children, a burned frozen pizza, a burnt frozen pizza on the kitchen table, and my husband in a frenzy of trying to make store-bought cheesecake fancy.
His visage as he beheld me? Priceless. Where art thou been? he gasped.
I poured out a glass of wine, and said, sweetly, You told me to go to the store. So I went.”
I did not even reach a finger that night. His mother was judgmental, I did not mind.
I had never in my life run at a gallop and flogged myself on the rack in behalf of anyone; and here I was not doing so, in virtue of that fond feeling.
Then he attempted to fight. You insulted me, he answered.
I said, What did you do? Put all the burden on me again and want me to say thausnder you? This is not a partnership this is a job, I did not apply to.
Amazingly, the following morning, my husband washed a kitchen. By himself. Asked about the next family visit a few weeks later, he could we arrange it together.
It was not all ideal, but it was a beginning.
And ever since that day? He has never done the last-minute hosting gimmick. Lesson learned.
