Getting married is a happy time, but the costs often make it feel much less joyful.
One father took to Reddit to explain what he faced when his daughter told him all about the extravagant wedding she hoped for.
The Reddit thread AITA (Am I The A*e) featured a post from the father, who pledged money for his daughter’s wedding in New York, something many parents offer to help their children start a married life.
However, when the father realized how extravagant his daughter wanted her wedding to be, he discovered his original generosity was not enough.
While people might expect the wedding to be near home, the daughter opted for something bigger; she and her husband chose a tropical destination in New Zealand for their 100 to 200 guests!
It would also be very costly, with the total estimated at $200,000. Because of her wishes, the father found himself in a tough spot, wanting to please his daughter yet hesitant to go overboard with money and risk upsetting the other family members.
The father expressed his thoughts: “My wife insists that since we can manage it, the ceremony feels like a show of our wealth and I disagree.” Now, my daughter will not speak to me and my wife refuses to talk to me too. This made me consider whether I was going to let go of money or maybe step on peoples’ feelings to give my daughter the wedding she’s always wanted.
Users on Reddit quickly commented and one of them wrote, “She should not throw a destination wedding if she can’t pay for it herself.” It’s not a nice thing to say, but it is the truth. Also, the costs for traveling and staying in hotels are very high these days. Are you expected to help buy her ticket or will she pay for it herself? Oh and she’ll need a ticket for her fiancé as well.”
Not talking to you and making a scene suggests to me that you shouldn’t give her attention. I think it’s wrong to expect parents to give us their money. I don’t hope to gain an inheritance from my dad if he ever dies.
Someone on Reddit suggested that the father could give an amount that was okay for him, so that the daughter could move forward with wedding plans within that sum.
Set how much money you are willing to spend and provide your girl with the budget amount. Leave any arrangement above that to her and her partner to decide. Remember to advise her if any of this involves the bridal party and their families taking trips. If she wants an elaborate wedding with lots of money spent, she is the one who has to cover the expenses.
Since then, the father has not said anything else, except that his daughter believes he’s a jerk and won’t communicate with him. How ungrateful!
This tale also demonstrates how difficult it might be for parents to balance giving away things with still being practical.
