Even though people say love is floating throughout the world, my last flight was a big reason I began to doubt it. I’m Toby, 35 and instead of a nice trip home to my family, a newlywed couple on my flight caused a commotion by thinking the cabin was their private love nest.
I chose to fly in a premium economy seat. My stay in that country was so long that by the end, I was exhausted, eager for home and ready to upgrade to a bigger apartment. My seatmate soon introduced himself as Dave and I could tell right away it was going to be an unusual trip. He looked at me and said hello with a smile. “I’m Dave. I regret having to ask, but if you might switch seats with my wife. We tied the knot not too long ago.
I realize now that newlyweds want to be seated together. However, when he said she was at the front in comfort, but back in basic economy, I paused. I had spent over a thousand dollars getting this comfortable seat, so I needed it. I tried to sound friendly as I said, “If you’re willing to cover the upgrade charge, I’d like to swap the devices.” Dave’s smile disappeared in an instant. Interesting, he is asking for a thousand dollars. This is impossible, isn’t it? I raised my shoulders in an attempt to act easy. That’s simply how things are. If that’s the case, I won’t go anywhere.” As he left, his words to me were cold and clear: “You’ll wish you had never spoken to me.”
That was the moment the chaos started.
First was the unavoidable coughing which was strong and forced, as if he was trying to get attention. “You doing well, Dave?” I started by asking because I was honestly concerned. His gaze was enough to let me know everything I needed. Next, he got out his tablet to watch an action film with the volume on high, no earbuds in place. After being asked to tone it down by another passenger, Dave stated it with feigned innocence, saying, “We’ll all be sharing the same experience.”
Soon after, the snack storm began. Eating pretzels accidentally turned into a sport, leaving much of the bag in my lap. Dave apologized, yet it was clear he didn’t really feel sorry. Before we knew it, Lia appeared, taking a seat on his lap and whispering like we weren’t all very crammed together. I bit my lip as the plane echoed with their loud laughter and little PDA jokes.
An hour after watching their silliness, I reached my limit. I told a flight attendant about my experiences—coughing, loud noises, showering food and sitting on someone’s lap. They made attempts to get out of trouble, but the stewardess was not impressed. She explained to Lia that, under airline policy, adults are not allowed to sit on another person’s lap. Her final sentence was: “Since you didn’t purchase this upgrade and have made waves, you will be sitting in economy again.”
Making that walk was one of the best parts of the night. Dave and Lia slunk away near me, so I waved at them happily. Have a wonderful honeymoon! He stared with anger, but stopped himself from speaking.
I thought the peace had finally returned.
One hour after departure, the plane faced some rough air. The seatbelt sign went on and shortly after, a disturbance began in the back of the plane. Lia’s loud request for the restroom could be heard over the entire plane. Lia ignored the flight attendant and walked to the front of the plane, with Dave following slightly behind.
Whenever someone tried to move past me, I would stand in front of the aisle. Didn’t you guys agree that the back is the best place for you? I spoke so that everyone in our section could hear what I said. They begged, insisted it was urgent and even tried to sweet talk me some more. After a while, I left the situation but not before mentioning to the flight attendant that these two were in economy because they had behaved really badly beforehand.
It didn’t take the attendant long to figure out what was going on. The same stewardess on the flight returned in time for the event and did not find it funny. Go back to your seats. She commanded, “Now.” Dave and Lia didn’t know what to say. Or should we ask the air marshal to get involved? That put them in action.
After that, the trip was peaceful the whole way. While coming down, one of the flight attendants brought me a whiskey and cola. I just do some things for free,” she said with a wink. Thank you for being patient. I held up my glass to make a toast. “For happy and easy travels and karmic energy.” I heard a few people across the train say in agreement, “Hear, hear!”
Once we landed in Los Angeles, the nightmare was over. I gathered up my belongings, expressed my thanks to the crew and walked off in confidence. As I was starting to leave, I saw Dave and Lia going away, their cheeks still pink and ignoring everyone. I just had to see what it was about. I hope you picked up something new. Relax and have fun on your honeymoon. He remained completely silent.
And in almost no time, I arrived home. I found my wife and child at the gate smiling and their happiness erased the last bit of trouble on the plane. The flight was beyond challenging, but being polite and adding a bit of turbulence myself turned out to be the difference.
