People know that dogs are loyal, loving, and hilarious. These jokes highlight how amusing our pets can be, from the bad things they do to the smart things they do.
1.A Problem During Dinner
The girl was meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time. Unfortunately, her stomach hurt a lot. She had to try to ease some of the terrible stress as they were eating dinner, so she let out a little gas.
Everyone at the table could hear her “little” fart. Everyone looked up, and the father stared at her for a while before looking at the puppy laying on the floor behind her chair. “Max,” he said.
She thought, “This is awesome.” “They think it was the dog,” and everyone went back to eating.
Five minutes later, the pain came again, and she thought she needed to relieve more pressure. She didn’t move, but she let out another gust of wind, this time twice as loud as the last. Everyone looked up again, and the father said, “MAX!” which made her very delighted. Everyone began to eat again.
The girl felt a lot better, but she still wasn’t out of the woods. She made up her mind to do everything she could to get rid of the gastro-fiend’s pain for good.
She was so sure of herself that she let out a nasty ripper that lasted approximately four seconds. Everyone stopped eating and looked at each other. “Max!” the dad said as he put down his fork, stood up, and looked at the puppy. For God’s sake! “Get out of there before she poops on you!”
2.The Wise Buyer
A butcher saw a $10 cash and a letter in the dog’s mouth that stated, “Five lamb chops, please.” He was trying to get the dog out of his business.
A close-up of lamb chops that were grilled
He was so shocked that he took the money, put a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closed the store. He followed the dog and observed him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the street to the bus stop.
The dog looked at the schedule and then sat down on the bench. When the bus got there, he walked to the front, glanced at the number, and then got on. The butcher came next, speechless. The dog watched the countryside go by as the bus traveled toward the suburbs.
A dog on a bus
He rang the “Stop” bell by standing on his back paws for a long time, and then the butcher got off the bus.
The dog ran up to a house and put his bag on the step. He walked back down the trail, got in line for a big race, and threw himself at the entrance. Whap! He kept doing this, but no one ever answered. He climbed a wall, walked around the yard, smacked his head on a window, jumped down, and waited at the front door.
A big guy opened it and yelled and cursed at the dog. The butcher ran up to the man and asked, “What the hell are you doing?” This puppy is very smart!
The owner said, “Genius, my butt…” He left his keys behind for the second time this week!
3.The Visitor Who Likes to Sleep
A man observed an old dog that was tired and walking around in his yard. His collar and plump belly proved that he was well cared after and had a home. The man touched the dog on the head a few times, and the dog came over to him.
A man with a phone pets a puppy.
The dog followed its owner into the house, walked carefully down the hall, curled up in the corner, and went sleeping.
An hour later, he stepped to the door, and the man let him go. The dog came back the next day. He said hi to the guy in his yard, walked inside, and then slept in the hall for about an hour. This happened and didn’t happen for a few weeks.
A man pats a puppy that is on the floor.
He put a note on the dog’s collar that said, “I want to know who owns this lovely, sweet dog and if you know that your dog comes to my house almost every afternoon to sleep.”
The next day, the dog came to his slumber with a collar that said, “He lives with six kids, two of whom are under three.” He is trying to get more sleep. “Can I go with him tomorrow?”
A man who is laughing
4.The Plasterer at the Pub
A dog goes into a bar and orders a ham sandwich and a pint of beer. “Hang on!” the bartender yells as he looks at him. You are a dog.
The dog responds, “I can see that your eyes are working.”
“And you can talk!” the bartender says.
The dog says, “I can see that your ears are working too.” “Is it okay if I have my beer and sandwich now?”
“Of course, I’m sorry about that,” the bartender says as he pours the dog’s drink. “We just don’t have a lot of dogs in this bar.” What brought you this way?
A bartender is pouring wine into a glass.
The dog says, “I’m working on the building site on the other side of the street.” “I’m a plasterer,”
The bartender is horrified and can’t believe what the dog says. He wants to know more, but he gets the point when the dog takes a newspaper out of his bag and starts reading it. The dog reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids goodbye to the bartender, and leaves. The same thing happened for two weeks.
A dog on the street
The circus comes to town the next day. The ringmaster comes into the bar and asks for a drink. “Are you with the circus?” the bartender asks. I know a dog who would be a fantastic fit for your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper, and does everything else!
“Sounds great,” the ringmaster adds as he hands him his business card. “Tell him to call me.”
The next day, the dog walks into the bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, Mr. Dog, I think I can find you a great job that pays a lot of money.”
Bills of 100 dollars
The dog says, “I’m always looking for work.” “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” says the bartender.
“The circus?” says the dog.
“Yes,” the bartender says.
“The circus?” The dog asks again. “With the big tent?”
The bartender answers, “Yes.”
The dog says, “Why are all the animals in cages and the performers in caravans?”
“Of course,” the bartender says.
The dog keeps asking, “And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?”
A dog that is joyful and has his tongue out
“That’s right,” says the bartender.
The dog shakes his head in bewilderment and wonders, “Why would they want a plasterer?”
5.Corgi Jokes
Why aren’t Corgi jokes funny?
They’re all really short.
A picture of a Corgi looking up from a high place
6.The Talking Dog Is For Sale
A man sees a sign in front of a house that says, “For sale: a dog that talks.” He rings the doorbell, and the owner tells him that the dog is outside in the yard. The man goes to the backyard and sees a dog just sitting there.
“Do you talk?” he asks.
The dog says, “Yes.”
“So, what’s your story?”
A man is stooping down and caressing a dog.
The dog looks up and says, “I learned to talk when I was very young, and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift.” They got me flying from one country to another in no time at all. I sat in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one thought a dog would be listening. For eight years, I was one of their best spies.
A K9 dog lying down
“I was really tired from going all over the place, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and wanted to settle down.” So I worked as an undercover security guard at the airport, primarily hanging out near people who seemed suspect and listening in. I won a lot of awards for finding great discounts there. Now that I’ve reared a wife and a lot of pups, I can enjoy retirement.
The man is surprised. He goes back inside and asks the owner how much they want for the dog.
The owner says, “Ten dollars.”
A Siberian Husky that winks
The man says, “This dog is great.” Why are you selling him for so little?
The owner says, “He’s a big liar.” He didn’t do any of those things.
7.The Skating Dog
A man talked to his neighbor one day. “I’ve had enough of my dog,” he said. He’ll chase down anyone on a skateboard.
The neighbor responded, “Hmm, that is a problem,” and you could hear the worry in their voice. “What are you going to do about it?”
The man shrugged and added, “I guess the only thing to do is take his skateboard.”
A close-up of a dog on a skateboard
Dogs can make us smile and giggle, even when they’re being bad or simply being themselves. These jokes show how great and funny our furry friends can be.
