People who are taken advantage of or mistreated by someone with narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) may suffer from narcissistic abuse syndrome, which is a term for the mental and emotional damage they may endure. This term isn’t a recognized diagnosis, but it does show how this abuse can harm the victims’ mental health for a long time. Some people call the state of narcissistic abuse “narcissistic victim syndrome.” It’s vital to know that narcissism and abuse aren’t always the same thing, even if they are often associated. Some people who are narcissistic are not abusive.
What does narcissistic abuse look like?
People who are dating someone who is narcissistic or has narcissistic qualities may acquire narcissistic victim syndrome, which is a mental and emotional strain. People with narcissistic victim syndrome may feel anxious, not trust themselves, be scared and confused, and want to avoid particular circumstances. People who are gaslighted or scolded a lot have trouble trusting what they see and hear. People who are victims of this kind of psychological manipulation can have mental health problems that last a long time, such as feeling alone or losing their sense of who they are.
How to Spot Narcissistic Abuse
It can be hard to recognize narcissistic abuse since these habits slowly and quietly grow. But people with NPD and narcissists often act in certain ways. People that act like this frequently want to control others, trick them, and hurt their sentiments. Here are 12 frequent ways that narcissists hurt people. If you see these indications, it could mean that someone has been through this kind of abuse:
Making something look perfect Then the value dropped
In romantic relationships, narcissistic abuse begins with a “love bombing” period in which the abuser showers their spouse with gifts, praises, and praise. People who abuse act kind, kind, and caring. They show a lot of love to attract victims to date them, expecting that the victim will fall in love with them. Once they have their victims under their control, they stop being kind and start being harsh, giving backhanded compliments, or ignoring them. Parents with narcissistic traits might only show their kids love and support when they do what they want. They could take it away if the kid makes them angry or unhappy.
Gaslighting
When someone is narcissistic gaslighting, they lie about a sequence of incidents or change the facts, even if they are true, to make the victim feel confused. Abusers will trick their victims into believing their recollections or lies, which makes victims question their own sanity and how they see the world. Gaslighting can affect a person’s mental health for a long time, making them feel confused and unsure of themselves for the rest of their lives.
Being alone
People who have been hurt by a narcissist may feel like they can’t talk to their friends and family. The abuser could keep their victims away from their support network, which makes it easier for them to dominate their brains. If victims don’t have a support system, they can’t tell anyone how they feel ignored and mentally assaulted.
In this situation, abusers adopt the “hoovering” method, which means they take advantage of the victims’ lack of emotional support to pull them back into the cycle of abuse. People frequently say “hoovering” when victims wish to end the relationship. Narcissists would do anything to get their victims back. If they can’t get their victims to believe them, they usually get angry and stop talking to them or toss away their contact.
Smear campaigns
Narcissistic abusers have to maintain up their image and illusion to gain the love they think they deserve from other people. When victims start to see their abuser’s selfishness or question what they do, they may be the target of smear campaigns that try to make them look terrible. The abuser could lie to others they both know about the victim’s behavior or character to keep them apart and keep up a good picture in front of other people.
Always asking yourself
People who are often criticized and knocked down may tend to think awful things about themselves. When abusers tell their victims that they can’t make good choices or that they don’t think the victim can do any chores well, they are trying to control them. It makes matters worse for an abusive partner to call the victim stupid or foolish. They often hide their comments under a fake tone of affection to make them sound less mean while hurting the victim’s self-esteem.
Signs on your body
Narcissistic abuse can make you feel worried and terrified, and this might show up in your body. People who have been hurt may have headaches, stomach problems, weariness, trouble sleeping, high blood pressure, or other indicators of stress. This is how the body naturally reacts to stress or trauma after being emotionally abused, especially for a long time. People with narcissistic victim syndrome may also have additional health issues, such as feeling nauseous, changes in appetite, and not being able to sit still.
Feelings that aren’t steady
People who are victims of narcissistic behavior are always on edge because they don’t know how to deal with the constant “push and pull.” They could feel that they’re always on edge since they don’t know if they’ll be treated well or cruelly at any one time. Narcissists often change from being kind and charming to being nasty or critical in ways that are hard to predict. This makes things unstable. Because of this erratic behavior, victims can’t be sure how the narcissist will act in any situation, which makes them uneasy and focused on avoiding disputes.
Not being sure of who you are
People who have been in narcissistic relationships say they don’t know who they are anymore. When victims adjust their behavior to please the abuser, they could forget who they are and what they like. Victims have a hard time feeling good about themselves and being different from everyone else. People that are narcissistic don’t care about the health of the person they are hurting. Narcissists use their relationships to get what they desire. Victims may feel hollow and disconnected from themselves after losing their sense of self.
Setting limits is challenging.
People with narcissistic victim syndrome typically have trouble knowing where their limits are. Abusers often don’t care about limits at all or punish victims for trying to observe them. People who have been mistreated and controlled by narcissists are more likely to give in to pressure and put other people’s needs ahead of their own. Because of this, victims may feel that they can’t protect themselves in future relationships.
Worry and sadness.
People with narcissistic victim syndrome may feel anxious and melancholy. Victims typically feel on edge and can’t stop worrying about what their abuser might do next. People who are continuously being hurt and criticized feel depressed and confused. People who act this way may lose interest in things they used to like and their symptoms may get worse.
What to do when you get cold
Some victims “freeze” when they are hurt all the time. This makes them feel like they can’t do anything or leave the relationship where they are being abused. When you’re scared and helpless, this is what happens. The brain sends a signal to freeze until it’s safe to act. If you’re scared of being alone or being left behind, these feelings might get worse. These trauma responses can become so engrained in victims that they change how they deal with relationships in the future.
Learning how narcissists use manipulation
Narcissists use a multitude of different methods to keep their victims in line. They utilize gaslighting to make people doubt their own reality, triangulation to bring in other people to conflicts and support their account, and hoovering to get victims to come back to the relationship or fake apologies when their behavior is questioned.
Narcissists also act in passive-aggressive ways, such criticizing others or hurting them without stating it explicitly. They often ignore victims and blame them for difficulties in the relationship to punish them. These things always confuse people, make them feel bad about themselves, and erode their confidence over time. Victims become more and more reliant on the narcissist’s approval and validation.
The Long-Term Effects of Narcissistic Abuse
People who are victims of narcissistic abuse may have emotional scars that last long after the relationship is finished. This makes it hard for the victim to trust other people, create friends, and feel good about themselves. Victims may feel alone because they can’t tell people about the abuse in a way that makes sense to them. Many victims also find ways to deal with their pain, such staying away from other people or taking medication.
Getting Help: How to Feel Better
When survivors start to heal, they often have to talk about the abuse and adopt techniques like “no contact” or “gray rocking” when they have to talk to the abuser. A key step in getting better and getting rid of emotions of loneliness and hopelessness is to build a strong support network of family, friends, or support groups. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) are two types of therapy that can assist people who have gone through trauma deal with it, get rid of negative thoughts about themselves, and feel good about themselves again.
Lastly,
People who have narcissistic victim syndrome suffer a lot and may have emotional wounds that persist for a long time. But with the correct help, they can get well. You can start repairing things before they get worse if you catch the signals early. Therapy is a safe place where you may talk about what you’ve gone through and learn how to move on with your life after being abused.
